31.1.11
... you fricken robot
dopey trophy
SF Giants World Series Trophy will be @ Municipal Stadium TOMORROW f/4-6p. This is a FREE event to see Giants History! PLUS come & enter to WIN a VIP Package!
30.1.11
the abominated and snowed man
going to SONIC. chocolate cake, seedless raspberry filling, whipped
cream frosting. should i bring you a piece?
***
K: No thanks. I believe chocolate + fruit is an abomination.
... but later you'll get landrysselect points ...
as long as it's not germs
28.1.11
"smart"
and i got a picture with it! and my rubber duckie too!"
***
K: Fans dig the trophy. I'm sad I haven't seen it yet.
***
b1: it's because you're not a true fan.
***
{instantaneous response} K: So "true".
the love of giant megathings in general
http://m.yahoo.com/w/sports/home/blogs/article?offset=3&urn=urn%3Anewsml%3Asports.yahoo%2Cyhoo%3A20050301%3Ahighschool%2Carticle%2Cyhoo-ept_sports_prep_rally-312968%3A1&.ts=1296142639&.intl=us&.lang=en&ref_w=frontdoors
***
K: Thanks. I love superlong sporting events. I dream of attending a
baseball game that lasts all night and past dawn. I love giant
megathings in general. It's probably the same impulse that makes me like
24HO.
When I was a kid I ripped the covers off all my Richie Rich comics and
taped them together into one giant Richie Rich comic.
But I hate the stall in basketball.
who's to blame?
french pox, the french called it italian pox, the english called it
spanish pox, the poles called it german pox and the russians called it
polish pox.
26.1.11
pizza facism
instead:
Una Pizza Napoletana
210 11th St
***
solid G: Ah yes, the pizza nazi. He moved from new york. I ate at his
place in the east village. Let me know what you think. Perhaps the most
controversial pizzaria in the world...
***
b1: what did you think? did you like it?
***
G: I did. But my companions thought it overpriced. I though it was a
very pure pizza.
***
b1: i thought it was good. expensive, but not outrageously so ...
there's a place in vegas -settebello- that's every bit as good and not
NEARLY as snooty.
monster trivia
monsters on the "universal studios monsters" logo.
***
***
solid G: Frankenstein, dracula, wolf man, invisible man, mummy.....who
else?
b1: that's 20 points. the set is frankenstein, wolfman, mummy, bride of
frankenstein, dracula and creature from the black lagoon
G: Invisible man is there. You just can't see him.
***
***
K: Frankenstein, Mummy, Wolfman, Dracula, invisible Man ... Bride?
b1: 25 points. it's mummy not invisible man.
K: I was picturing an old comic book ad for Universal Monsters model
kits. That was the first time I was ever aware of any movie company.
I must have pictured Mummy when I said Invisible Man.
***
***
b1-67er: I'm totally guessing here, I can't even visualize the
logo....king kong, creature from the blue lagoon, wolfman, dracula,
frankenstein, the invisible man?
66er: 20 points.
b1-67er: Oh... the mummy, I knew I was missing a big one. They just put
bride of Frankenstein in there for political correctness. I thought
Godzilla might be in there due to Godzilla 2000.
does it have a scope sight?
25.1.11
how about if i called him "ajax"?
24.1.11
make that, seven guys
the special K® refusal
{MMS images have a history of not coming through from my hiptop ... it's
a bubble overlay on his iphone sleep screen that says:
Special K
Prep Your Pantry
Help keep your plan on track by
heading to the store to stock up on
Special K® staples.}
***
b1: what do you have to do? when do you start? how long is it?
***
K: It mostly says "buy and eat special k products". I'm not going to do
it.
2 weeks, I think. It's vague and very girly.
***
b1: we could do it as "24 days of special K challenge." 24SPECK.
***
K: I don't think it's worthy of attention.
***
b1: i'll do it and report back, daily, once i start. i'll probably be
yoga-ing then too.
a rapper for your chicken
b1: what's it gonna be called, "wickedty-wack-bo-jacks?" and where're
they gonna be? professor griff is gonna be *hating* that one.
G: Flav's fried chicken. And it's opening in clinton iowa
b1: who's gonna open it, hillary?
23.1.11
and he took 77 boats with him...
dick wid
solid G: He's definitely up there. Great sneer.
b1: yeah. and good i-think-i'm-smarter-than-you-but-i'm-actually-not
crazy laugh.
but he has no idea what comes after "9"
22.1.11
i'll give you a hint: it's icy AND you sink your teeth in it
tell it to consuelo
get knasty
the end of "gas light," the woman behind us whispers "kill him."
K: Loved that. Just call it radical feminism.
21.1.11
1 guy short of a cheap six-pack
bruce springsteen ... nothing to like here yet.
***
K: I like the burgers but they get soggy with toppings. I don't like the
vibe.
where's freddy the furby?
20.1.11
sounds like my first joint
19.1.11
complete with puke flavored barf bag
he doesn't like killing as much as he used to, either
robocoke
feeling like I need to. try. them. ALL.
Sprite Zero with Peach
Fanta Zero Grape
Dasani Sensations - Strawberry
Caffeine-Free Diet Raspberry Coke
why "Diet Vanilla Coke" but "Orange Diet Coke"?
18.1.11
the future of pop machines
17.1.11
that's not where the hurt is
16.1.11
nine inch nails ... and one statue
*** b1: i wonder how that's working for him.
the women don't know what the little girls understand
you're so coors
*** b1: i'm crying pure rocky mountain spring water.
15.1.11
the resting place of evil K
in SF at the end of the month ... these are priming TXTs from him.
***
5 places for finding the stuff of film noir
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/01/14/TRDO1H63RU.DTL#ixzz1BBKzI0wu
I watched a noir film last night: Consenting Adults (Kevin Kline, Kevin
Spacey)
talk to the flying monkey
queens.
***
K: Good luck. I didn't know you did slots.
***
b1: it's free. invitation only. prize money. mathematically it has
perfect theoretical expectation.
i've finally decided my future lies beyond the yellow brick road.
***
K: Aaaaaah aaaaah aah. Aaaah aah aah ah aah. Aaaaaah aaaaah aah. Ah
ahhhh!
***
b1: TXTman crothers, you *are* the wizard of ahs.
what if you were a red giant?
your chance to dunk the other special K
i don't know who's doing the globetrotters PR these days, but they're
completely out of control ... as you know, i never watch TV, and yet
i've seen them on the tube no less than a zillionty times in the last
month.
if i was in the bay area, we'd go to this (and i'd make you pay).
{mumbling end of "sweet georgia brown" goes here.}
***
Oracle Arena
BOX OFFICE BLAST
HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS MAGIC PASS TICKETS NOW AVAILABLE!
It's easy to add magic to your Globetrotters experience on Sunday,
January 16th at 2:00pm at oracle Arena!
You've got your tickets, now add an experience that will create Magical
Memories to last a lifetime!
Passes are just $15 per person (Additional convenience fees may apply)
The half-hour Magic Pass experience is full of basketball fun and
excitement that only the world famous Harlem Globetrotters can deliver.
You'll experience special tricks, magical fun and have a chance to be
part of the action with your favorite Globetrotter players. And to top
it all off, your Magic Pass gives you exclusive access to get autographs
when you meet Harlem Globetrotter players and their world famous mascot,
Globie, in person.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Magic Pass entry begins 2 hours prior to show time.
Magic Pass begins 90 minutes before show time and lasts for 30 minutes.
You will need to purchase one Magic Pass per person.
All customers must have a show ticket AND Magic Pass for entry.
Space is extremely limited and will fill up quickly.
No refunds or exchanges.
Additional service charges will apply. Ticket packages can only be
purchased online using the
website link provided above. Offer good while supplies last. Offer not
good on alternate game dates/times. Persons 24 months in age and older
require a paid admission ticket.
the point of exclamation
breakfast along with at dupar's ($4 since it's 04:00).
***
K: Be careful not to get sucked into his gravitational pull.
***
b1: good po-i--n----t---------.
saturday morning fever
of Brooklyn. According to my limited knowledge of Brooklyn.
***
b1: they weren't exactly what you call "the finest part of brooklyn"
crowd.
i've only seen SNF once. it was at a 70's party i threw in 1985 ...
... at that party, bo3b and another guy both came in the same leisure
suit ... they didn't know each other.
***
K: I saw it about 300 times when I was an usher at the Colorado 4
Theaters. We used to synchronized-sweep the lobby while singing Night
Fever. Hand claps and everything.
***
b1: that is *SO* *COOL.*
that makes you cooler than me FOREVER.
(which is nearly impossible to believe.)
***
K: I won't let it go to my head.
***
b1: there's a lot of room up there.
***
K: gravity will help.
lighten up, francis
73 at the time. I just watched her in the movie "Edmond". She was 88.
Now she's 93, still alive (as far as I know).
but it's the ass that's famous
*** b1: spooky.
14.1.11
i say cover her grave with astroturf
a strange seating
in OK city.
***
K: Amazing player. Victim of one of my favorite bizarre baseball plays.
http://goo.gl/1F6Fo , item #3
13.1.11
SONIC solitude
***
K: I only skimmed so far. I was impressed at the detail. I'll read in
full later (after work deadline).
***
b1: i need you to mention it on foodisworse. for G purposes, make sure
to use the word SONIC in the title and in the link.
***
K: It will be my next post.
***
b1: good boy. when i searched on SONIC this AM, i saw a new G thing,
where down my search page it said something like "friends in your social
network have this to say about SONIC."
it's weird, because we definitely talk through email and IM. and we're
probably connected on orkut, although i haven't been on there in years.
but i'm not on FB and we're not connected through G space, or whatever
the hell they call(ed) it.
***
K: Yeah, I hate that. Because I'm not very social.
***
b1: it seems to me like you talk to and like everyone.
***
K: Right. But mostly I hate and fear people.
***
b1: whoa. another thing i didn't know about special K ... moving me to
the next level. in 2 more levels, i will *be* special K.
***
K: Put another way, I'm mostly happier with solitude than with anybody.
***
b1: but how can you say that when you have this huge ego-publicity
monster inside you?
***
K: Maybe because it's impersonal and not intimate. Maybe that's more ok
with me.
inception complex
***
b1: i've never seen it. i've heard it's good.
***
K: I have it. We can watch when you're in town if you like. Won't take
24 hours.
***
b1: i don't think i've ever sat next to you on a couch for that short of
a period of time. maybe i could view it as seconds, then it'd be
24SOI.
***
K: I'll act like an idiot. That will make it seem longer.
***
b1: there's type casting.
you should see our realities
francisco bay. Royal Caribbean. They had an infinity pool at the bow,
(real sea water so it was cold), a replica of a 1950s Paul Bunyan-esque
campsite from Minnesota, complete with dusty flea-ridden furniture (no
one seemed to be staying in those cabins), a kind of hippie
entertainment village with stores that sold crystals and tie dye (Laurie
Anderson was working the counter at the one store I wandered into), and
they had the first Days Inn at sea on this boat, which I guess was
supposed to be a good thing. This is what happens when you catalog check
too many cruise ship brochures.
***
K: That is impressive.
A few nights ago I dreamed I was turning around in a handicapped parking
space. A woman yelled at me.
That's the only dream I remember for several months.
***
b1: i had a dream that i'd had a super-realistic dream where i pulled
uncooked whole wheat spaghetti out of my ear. i went to show the
spaghetti to bo3b and zz, but when i did, there wasn't as much as i had
dreamed ... that confused me very much.
they were unimpressed by how little spaghetti i had and made jokes about
it.
12.1.11
i'm also, apparently, the most gullible person he's ever known
*** b1: that's both funny and wrong. you need to get out more.
beyond the palin
http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/01/12/palin-calls-criticism-blood-libel/
***
K: 1. She's an idiot for using that phrase.
2. If her crosshairs map was meaningless, why did she (a) take it down
on Saturday and (b) laughably claim on Monday that they weren't
crosshairs but "surveyor's marks"?
***
b1: i don't know. i don't follow her at all and i can't understand why
anyone else does either. being obsessed with the obnoxious kid in the
lunchroom isn't what makes him go away.
***
K: Those obsessed with her don't want her to go away.
***
b1: the phrase "blood libel" didn't mean anything to me before i read
that article. just like i didn't know what "jaimie town" was before
jesse jackson used it.
she's the best possible news for the left because she's an
easy-simplistic target that could never win a presidency.
***
K: Yes. Probably.
***
b1: republican minorities (including women) are a problem for democrats
because they raise cognitive dissonance with a party they perceive to be
inherently prejudiced.
***
K: Don't overestimate Americans' intelligence.
***
b1: i've never bought into the concept that americans are collectively
dumb.
no one ever lost a battle by assuming their enemy was *smarter* than
they actually were.
10.1.11
oh my god, they killed special K! those bastards!
9.1.11
time for 46 hour fitness
i keep knockin', but ...
***
***
***
***
***
but you didn't look gaunt like you did when you were actual reality super-skinny K.
***
***
***
special: because my drug was taken away
***
8.1.11
soft and jewy
on the sabbath?
K: Pray.
b1: and then what do they do for the other 16 waking hours?
K: Pray all day. 4 separate services. In between, eat, study, visit.
b1: have you ever been that hardcore?
K: No way. That stuff is basically superstition as far as I'm
concerned.
b1: whoa. i just moved to a whole new level of understanding about the K. and it's spooky.
K: We should talk about this more then. I'm not into the supernatural aspects of mainstream religion.
b1: whoa. are you saying that just because it's elvis's birthday?
K: Wella wella.
7.1.11
no mas, las vegas
playing like a bunch of ghouls
The Rockies just bought them and might move them to Windsor.
***
b1: what're they going to call them? the "windsor haunted castles"?
if only i could get clayed
***
K: Oh Jesus.
***
b1: that's the good "jesus." i can feel it.
and now my take on you:
http://clayyourself.com/portraits/portrait_1294453730765.jpg
a zombie BM
http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/06/bill-murray-crashes-karaoke-party/
***
K: Thanks. I like Bill Murray. Wasnt he great in Zombieland? How did you
like the movie overall?
***
b1: i hate zombies. i don't like zombie movies.
i'd rate it 7 out of 10. "the best i've seen."
***
K: And the Murray schtick?
***
b1: he was the best part of the movie.
the second he walked through the
other door, i knew they were going to blow him away.
the best part of the whole flick was his post-credit caddyshack
reference.
***
K: Agree, agree, agree.
http://goo.gl/Jfcl5
6.1.11
break it down!
license plate? 2YANKEE
***
K: 2YANKEE 2QUIT
***
b1: 2LGT2QT
(with a "hammer time" license plate bracket)
***
K: I like it.
it was just before the dragons ...
moved around. A guy in the bathroom dried his hands on his pants. 2
Chinese guys were speaking Chinese and crossing themselves and
laughing.
***
b1: keep your eyes open. rifts in the space/time continuum are never
pretty.
5.1.11
black and white
b1: i saw that. it'd be better if they just banned it. we should re-release an NWA album as SWA.
K: It's like de-pussyflashing Basic Instinct.
4.1.11
a sign that SHOULD say "move over"
how would you like your grobule prepared?
b1: why is it that i think i'm going to start worrying about you? and why is it that i think i'm starting 10 years too late?
K: Because you are smart. And yesterday we decided I'm going to die first.
b1: i wish we'd decided that you'd sign all your bank accounts over to me today instead.
now all we need is a scary stupid mask
Description: we watch EVERYTHING in a DVD set and say what we think.
***
b1: love it. we could get free swag already.
***
K: I failed to say that.
Swag: yes. Maybe even make some $$& via Amazon links or ads.
***
b1: or maybe even a ponzi scheme.
i forgot, why am *i* included in this?
***
K: Included in what? You asked about the Dr. and the review thing is us.
And I failed to say I was special.
***
b1: you're incoherent now. go back and have them remove that stent.
***
K: Don't stint on my stent.
you and your pleasure button
"light in your head and __what__?" anybody? anybody? gerry?
b1: weird.
G: My brother said he was a drunk
b1: he'll get it right the next time.
G: Or right down the line...my brother recalls hearing his song
incessantly in 1978. We are old.
b1: i liked him. although i didn't realize "baker street" was a cover
until just a few years ago. makes me a lamer ... not a hall of famer.
G: who did the original?
b1: i don't know. the wiki article is imcomplete.
G: Rafferty wrote baker street.
b1: looks like i need more self-confidence.
G: Not your short suit...
b1: oh thanks, mr. tailor. while you're at it, could you let out the hem on my groin? thanks.
G: Your confidence is a good thing. Being smarter than 99 percent of the world can be a burden, though.
b1: being smart isn't a burden, but memory is. thank god mine's selective.
G: As far as I can recall, mine is getting worse all the time. Except for horrible songs of the 70s. I recall every note.
b1: as you're dying your final words will be "more ... more ... more ..." how do you like it?
G: Now that one, I like. That song sounds ever better every year. It's got four distinct parts and some killer hooks. I'd put that one song against metallica's whole output.
b1: you and me both, pal.
an armyman of 1
***
b1: i don't try my "best" ... with no family it's not clear what my
reason is for "hanging on."
***
K: You will die. If I'm alive I will miss you.
***
b1: okay, that makes it easy. you go 1st.
i get your twilight zone collection.
***
K: HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.
It's yours.
***
b1: okay. tell momma and biggy. i don't want any bloodshed at the
wake.
and you KNOW bigg knasty would fight for it.
***
K: He's not into SF.
Funeral. No wake.
***
b1: that makes it easy. tell 'em to leave the house keys out.
***
K: I'll add it to my will.
***
b1: swell.
and don't misspell my last name. you're exactly the type that's capable
of that.
***
K: Not me. 5th place, 1974 Colorado-Wyoming Spelling Bee.
***
b1: huge.
and to think, number 6 still shudders to hear your name ...
... only because she can't remember it doesn't start with a silent K.
***
K: DAMN RIGHT.
Word I missed: frontispiece.
***
b1: ouch. what'd you miss
US
or
PEACE.
... or did you wet your pants from the pressure and get an honorable
discharge from the podium?
***
K: fronticepiece. Which I still think isn't a bad try. Because I didn't
know Latin yet.
***
b1: better than me to be sure ...
although you STILL don't know latin.
(this'll surprise you, but drinking an orange julius doesn't count.)
***
K: Now I'm craving an Orange Julius (named for the great Julius Freed,
one of my people).
***
b1: which 1 of "your" people would that be? the one with a flame
thrower and a mold marking on its base?
***
K: Comedian?
***
b1: that's an army man joke. the ktxt readers will get it, even if you
don't.
you must be sleepy.
***
K: My dad didn't let me play with "dolls".
***
b1: oh, you guys and your worshipping "idols."
***
K: Jew bet.
Goodnight.
***
b1: and it also doesn't fully explain that first sexual experience you
were telling me about a few days ago.
nor the fact that you break your wrist as you talk.
don't go hyper apneaetic in your sleep, pal. you haven't changed that
will yet.
3.1.11
what about a day without a boom?
2.1.11
the crystalline beauty of baseball writing
http://deadspin.com/5530141/excerpt-from-are-we-winning-a-prayer-for-steve-bartman
***
b1: what a brilliantly flourished piece of writing. go back and read
just the last sentence of every paragraph.
if this were a bicycle it'd be hemingway's banana seat schwinn with a
small bell attached.
***
K: It touched me. Appropriately. And I'm glad you liked it.
don't worry, he's briefly okay.
1.1.11
another word for over-hyped and boring
I'm not a nerd, I'm old, or that I'm maturing as a human being?
***
b1: no. it means they're bad.
coin flip for quality
b1: good/bad 1.
new definition of "crew cut"
AKA BEST CHEATERS EVER.
we all cream for ice screams
"As a teenager, I'd go to the fridge, get a pint of ice cream, sit in
front of the television in a chair, masturbate, eat ice cream, and watch
television."
Now there's a quote of the moment for you.
starting the year in the zone
I started by buying the Gold Box deal of Complete Twilight Zone. 28 DVDs for $93, or $200 off list.
the greatest TXT ever sent
☆。★。☆。★
。☆ 。☆。☆
★。＼｜／。★
Happy New Year!
★。／｜＼。★
。☆。 。☆。
☆。 ★。 ☆