b1-66er: Crappiest bowl of popcorn imaginable...
Perfect for
ANACONDA.
Special K: Nice.
b1: Suicide!
Not even to the credits yet.
Black jaguar eaten by snake!
Snooty white guy:" I could hire someone for $50 to kill you. "
Ice Cube: "I could kill you for free right now. "
Tracheotomy with a Bowie knife!
K: Suffragette!
b1: First anaconda death!
AND Jennifer Lopez hissing, "asshole" under her breath.
THIS MOVIE HAS EVERYTHING!
<monkey gets shot>
"What the hell are we doing?"
"WE NEED ANACONDA BAIT!"
Gary just got anaconded.
When Jon Voight sez, "everyone else don't move" in a S American accent...
... NO ONE MOVES!
Oh the verisimilitude!
Jennifer Lopez, "This was supposed to be my big break...
... But it's been a BIG DISASTER!"
So right, Jennifer.
So completely right.
"I was up all night picking leeches off my scrotum."
Sounds better with an English accent.
<1 hour later>
Okay okay okay.
I've been through a lot.
I've gotta settle down.
The movie's over.
FIRST, This is NOT a bad movie.
A high point...
...maybe THE high point, is Ice Cube embedding an axe in the skull of THE anaconda...
... AFTER the snake was flaming...
... AFTER you gettin' the first-stomach's-eye-view of Jon Voight being swallowed...
... and AFTER he was puked back out only to wink at Jennifer Lopez...
... was The Cube saying
"Bitch."
To the snake.
Yes, the mambo both hisses and sounds suspiciously like a cougar in heat...
... and IT VERY WELL COULD BE that's a sexist mono-syllable that time dates itself (nearly 25 years ago!)...
The phrase still works in that revered NWA "No Vaseline" kinda way.
8/10. Leaves Nf in 2 days.
Watch the flick before it drifts off the service.
Find something else to do while it's playing.
K: Bien.
