I know what you are, but what am i?

Just overheard the BEST conversation ever...

Red Rock Casino employee <annoyed>, "what's wrong with you?"

Other Employee <very defensive> "YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!"

And they both break into peals of laughter.


AI repeatedly kickin' your desk...

b1-66er: Better time than ever to not live in Kazakhstan*.
*(I mispronounced this the first time and VR put it down as "has jackass tan.")

b1-67er: If AI comes to be, there will be a whole subset of AI joker's doing funky autocorrect.

66: Damn you, AUTOCORRECT!

67: Maybe AI already exists and reveals itself through autocorrect.

66: "i make my cookies taste good by adding 4 tablespoons of vaginal extract."

b1-67er: See.  AI.  What if AI ends up being the obnoxious kid that sat behind you in history class instead of super smart or  malevolent?


Pi are weird

Mr Crypto: If you have a tablet or capsule of radius l, then its cross-sectional area is pi*l*l.

If you have a sow of girth radius g and length y, then its volume is (to a first approximation) pi*g*g*y.

If you urinate (urine having density d) into a canister with radius s and height e, the weight of the urine will be pi*s*s*e*d.


Pepperoni is harder

Cap'n Happy: If you have a pizza with radius z and thickness a, its volume is pi*z*z*a


... But it also has its bad points ...

The flyer: Assume that at any given moment of my life one of the following things is happening
 1)  middle schoolers are in my house making messes and breaking things...
2) [the twins] are screaming at each other...
3) someone (including me) is totally sobbing...
4) the dogs are needing some kind of attention


Shell no

Suttonhoo: I wanted to send you a ninja so I did a text search on emoji and this is what I got...


Sizzle my nizzle

King feddy: [his son] The mighty T likes girls. [His other son] F8 knew who this one was. I told the T if he was baling on F8 and me for dinner, she had better be fucking hot. T said she was and F8 agreed.