I know this is pretty crazy, but I have no other choice. I am in desperate need of a time machine. Say what you will, but believe it or not this is a very serious request. I do not just want to leave this city but to traverse the timeline. This is not a want but a sincere need, and I will not take no for an answer. Please do not respond with insensitive remarks. I have dealt with too much of that as well. No watches, clocks or replicas of any type (i.e., DeLoreans, H.G. Wells inventions, etc.). No jokes, pranks and/or traps. I am looking for the real m-f'in thing! I am asking in good faith. I do not believe that there is anything good that can come if I stay here any longer. And I have no patience for B.S. I will not send you any other information unless I know you are serious...and real. This is an impassioned plea to fix the mistakes that I've made.
If you are able to help me out, please reply to the email above.
*Please, Craigslist, do not delete this post!*
b1-67er: Just read the crazy craigslist post. Now there is a guy who truly believes that when brainstorming, there are no bad ideas.