20.11.13

can I die NOW?

K: Work is still up in the air. There might be an announcement today, I've heard.

b1: jesus christ...
"do your job until we say you're dead...
...whenever."

K: Pretty much.

14.11.13

I'll have a large, without the nails, please

K: I died for your sins.

b1: you died for a cinnabon.

K: Tres bon.

7.11.13

talk about overstuffed mattresses

K; Most days now I eat when hungry and stop when full. Totally new to me.

b1: did someone coach you on what "hungry" means, or did you figure it out yourself?

K: It was part of 2 or 3 different programs I've been in.

b1: you're like my dad in drunk farms.

K; ?

b1: he was in several (court prescribed) drunk farms.  THAT is a key way that food is NOT worse than crack ...
the state of CA has never put you on court supervised visits to your diet doctor...
or had the head dietician sign your card for the judge... repeatedly.

K: They should.

b1: now you're just full of K fluff...
you're all, "I'll just day this crazy thing because I'm cutting edge and I'm the K..  I'M CRAZY!"...
fluff...
you are the K-pok of rap.

27.9.13

grounded in truth

b1-66er: when john belushi died, dan aykroyd played a tape of the "2000 pound bee."
and I was just so so impressed by that ... because he'd promised that to belushi, "if."
THAT is a good friend.
the world's fattest man was buried in a piano case, lowered by crane.
if you wanted it, I'd demand a crane for you, for sure.
"he wants to be buried with a crane.  I'm not going to let YOU revoke this man's last request."

special K:. "Don't be anti-Semitic."

b1: "don't be anti-seismic."

22.9.13

it's like doing it all over, again

K: Reorg at work. I could end up screwed. I'm surprisingly calm about it all.

b1: it's because you're ancient, you don't care and you've been through it all before.

K: Pretty much.

11.9.13

jeff blank

b1: here's a weird one, Brian Wilson and Jeff Beck are touring together.

K: I would LOVE to hear their deep conversations.

b1: you already do.

K: "         ?"
"         ."

b1: exactly.

what would jew call it?

b1: my crime against humanity is I didn't see a single 51's game this season.

K: Unfortunate.

b1: it's possible they may change their name next season, they have a new owner now.

K: There might be a better name.

b1: jesus god no.

K: Hahahahaha. Might be.

LV Titty Twisters
LV Mob
LV Founding Jews
LV Baking Desert Floor

b1: okay.  I agree all of those are better.

2.7.13

hoof over mouth disease

b1: <pic enclosed>

K: MOOSE HAS KILLED MOOSE! MOOSE HAS KILLED MOOSE!

28.6.13

it's not what you say, it's how you say it (no matter how purile)

b1: how'd you run across that cecille B demille article.

K: DC on facebook posted it.

b1: who's fricken DC?
GOD HOW LONG WILL I HAVE TO ASK QUESTIONS JUST TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT WHEN IT'S 118 DEGREES?

K: Used to be a Merc News reporter.

b1: how do you know HER?

K: From when she was a tech reporter for the MN and I was semi-famous.
Do you have a popsicle?

b1: when were you semi-famous?

K: '86 or so.  Mac days.  Guy days.  When I knew a lot.

b1: what happened?
and where is THAT whore now?

K: I stopped learning.
Which whore?

b1: DC.

K: Why is she a whore?

b1: I just need to be derogatory because she's detracting/distracting from the conversation I am trying to have ...
why are you suddenly a defender of women?

K: Cunt
Where did I do that?

b1: DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH WHEN IT'S 118 OUT.
"why is she a whore?"  you said that in your mouse-y voice.

K: True.

7.6.13

so...what would I get for $5?

b1: one thing's for sure ... you have the ability to light people up.

cap'n happy: Just one of the services I offer.

27.5.13

okay, but where's the ladder?

b1:  the majority of what we do is conceptual and imaginary.  we have a clubhouse of the mind.

3.4.13

life in the hoodie

b1-66er: economic reality has a way of bracing the overly emotionally warm.

26.3.13

knock, knock

NV number I don't recognize (05:30): U up

b1:66er (11:46): I am now.

NV (11:49): Rt that pussy always be mine. U will never forget me will you

b1 (11:50): I absolutely guarantee you've got the wrong number.

NV (11:51): Yes I do my bad

23.2.13

don't loan her your car

K: "momma K found it. She is a Best Western the feasting auto."

30.1.13

mark of the beast

K: I am happy to offer you all the services of my home.

b1: tell momma K to warm up the bed.

K: That's the dog's territory.

21.1.13

the IHOP of the troubled unconscious

pickles: Woah. I had crazy dreams that you were like lost/abducted by soldiers in some crazy country. And the last text you sent me was a picture of pancakes. Weird.

5.1.13

brotherly love

CJ: My brother wants to connect with me on linked in

b1: erm.
it's better than wanting to connect with you over half a bottle of tequila and a stack of porn magazines...
BUT JUST BARELY