God created me, blame It

Special K: I attended online services for Yom Kippur tonight. I like that version, I don't have to get dressed up, or pay full attention, etc.

Jacked-up

b1-66er: "Jill Duggar Opens Up About Wearing Pants, Going to Therapy & Why She's Not Opposed to Tattoos"

Special K: Close it back up, Jill.

Jamocha Like

b1-66er: "I know what I want...

...I want everything. "

***

Lawrencian: "Tell me what you want, you really really want"

***

His boy Sherman: You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.

But not always.

b1: I think I've just found what kept you from your true success as a Rolling Stone. 

HbS: She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah...but just like, as a friend.

b1: DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH WHEN I'M ALONE ON MY COUCH IN MY UNDERWEAR. 

HbS:  She was just 17. If you know what I mean. And the way she looked was...

...irrelevant because the objectification of women in today's culture is completely out of hand and shouldn't be encouraged.

 Imma natural born lyricist.

b1: It's true...

You straddle that thin line between unbridled romantic and aspergerian observationist.

Eye wide shut

b1-66er: "The story behind Miley Cyrus' designer vagina necklace"

Special K: ...is one that I won't be reading.

All in the word (not the follicle)

b1-66er: "Losing Your Hair Can Be Another Consequence of the Pandemic"

Special K: My hair is longer than it's been in years.

b1: Would you say, broadly speaking, that you're "sexier?"

K: No.

Some questions shall never be answered

b1-66er: "I remember searching for the perfect words..."

"I remember hating you for loving me. "

Special K: Riding on the Metro...

b1: Painful memories. 

THE high point of renting cars was getting a Geo Metro...

It made me incessant in my Berlin quotes. 

K: Sex! I'm a

b1: ... you're a wolverine ...

... in a snow blanket!

K: Why not?

I'm afraid you've got an impacted truth

Special K: The Stanley Cup finals are being played in the northernmost NHL city, between the league's 2 southernmost teams.

b1-66er: Great datum. 

<later>

 "Halle Berry Just Posted A New Swimsuit Photo And Her Butt Looks So Toned"

Special K: We used to call her 'Tony Butt.'

b1: It's that true?

Special K: It is not.

That bit about the southernmost teams is also not true, I just figured out. The correct phrasing is "southernmost teams EVER TO PLAY FOR THE CUP."

TX sky

Former Flyer:

Your eyes are the window to your Reddi-wip

b1-66er: https://www.delish.com/restaurants/g33983537/best-menu-items-at-chain-restaurants/

Stearno: Are those your new seven things?

 I'm proud to say I haven't been to most of those places, and the few I have, it's been years. (Still miss you, Chili's!)

b1: So tempting.

The IHOP pancakes sound (and look) hideous. 

S: It's that syrup color - looks like a murder scene. By the way, should you ever happen to stab me to death, please remember to empty a can of whipped cream on my corpse.

b1: Guaranteed. 

I'll lick it off your eyes. 

S: Thanks, pal!

Land of prose and moonshine

Stearno: Amazon just notified me that your hoses are on your porch.

b1-66er: Absolutely perfect timing. I just got out of bed. Thank you, Stearno!

CNN just informed me that 

Oregon residents are illegally stopping drivers at gunpoint during wildfire evacuations

When you're not allowed to pump your own gas, things happen. 

S: Not all Oregon residents

My shift isn't until Thursday

Wait. Is that the Cheezolator K?

b1-66er: That article is actually pretty good. 

Best Whizzinator story you'll read today. I promise. 

Special K: Yes.

b1: I'm pretty sure you read more whizzinator stories than I do. 

K: I'm completely sure.

What matters is the Uni -- not the lever

Special K: "Man Known as BabyQ Is in Trouble for Using Synthetic Penis"

b1-66er: If I advise him about it, would that be a 

Baby Q tip?

...Like Barbie clothes that're the wrong size...

b1-66er: ...I asked b1-67er if he'd sunk his entire bonsai forest into baby pools when the fire was across the street...

... and it was like he'd heard the voice of God...

... OH! THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!

Stearno: Oh, man, a bonsai forest fire would be the most awful cutest thing.

The Count of Monte Fritos

b1-66er: "1 in custody for setting fire to Las Vegas motel room with someone inside"

"Pringles tube tries to wake from 'recycling nightmare'"

Special K: Put those together, you have a good horror movie.

Snipe hunting with the K!

Special K: My front yard. Find the sun. 

I know what you aren't, but what aren't I?

b1-66er: "Can You Tell a Narcissist by Where They Take You on a Date?"

Special K: You can't tell a narcissist anything.

b1: How would I know?

K: Same. 

... and now, we just make stuff up ...

Special K: Breakfast cereal and puzzles are 23% of pop culture.

TX sunset

Former Flyer:

"Next up at 5, fiery hail!"

Special K: 4pm temps

The Unsinkable Lone Star Line

b1-66er: "At Least 4 Boats Sink During 'Trump Boat Parade' in Texas"

Special K: U. S. S. Metaphor.

<a few hours later>

b1: "As Trump Parade Boats Sink In Texas, So Are The President’s Polling Numbers"

K: Not that great a headline.

b1: Ghosts of Kerry's Torpedo Boats Let it Rip While Playing Wagner Arias

K: I like that one. 

b1: does it bother you that it's not true?

K: No, I don’t even know what it means. I’m just excited by the headline-ness of it.

b1: Okay. It works then.

 We'll ship it. 

Higher Plain

b1-66er: <pic>

Special K: I'm so tired of being a drugstore. 

Gimme a crashed motorcycle with a twist

b1-66er: <pic>

Special K: What am I looking at?

b1: YOU? 

A woman's legs.

K: Fantastic. 

Sky fire (w/ windmills)

Meat Man: <IA pic>

Chairman of the Fjord

b1-66er: "Can a Bubble Net Stop a Hurricane? Some Norwegians Think So"

Special K: Some Norwegians think god is made of cheese.

Probably.