Wisdom (and sometimes the cereal guy)

4.7.23

The last laugh

b1-66er: <pic> Uhhh...

b1-67er: Maybe too soon.

D4rw1n: Special on squash

Want some fresh squeezed lemonade with that

Help wanted - ability to work in a high pressure environment required

Special promotion - deep discounts

3.7.23

Hey! Could ya bring some ribs back with those Crackerjacks?

10:30

(Second sleep dream)

I'm at b1-67er's place in Salinas and decide it's absolutely filthy... So the obvious Dream Answer is to vacuum the ceiling (where my parents mid-modern guitar plaque is mounted to the ceiling facing downward toward the kitchen table).

The whole time I'm doing it I'm thinking, "my brother doesn't EVEN KNOW how hard this is."

That task seamlessly (and smoothly!) changes to me sitting in the second row, just R of home plate, at a SF Giants baseball game.

EXCEPT this game is in the SJ Giants older stadium.

A well known (to the crowd, not to me) Cuban player has just had a complete freak out at the plate, acting kinda like an uncaged wild animal...

He's (lightly) beaten (in the Moscow train station police sense-of-the-word) by officials and removed from the plate.

"Ladies and gentlemen, our winner of tonight's player drawing, Special K•"

The K goes out (in an obviously used [maybe by him?] uniform and tips his hat [a little too effusively, perhaps] to the crowd.

There's the SLIGHTEST 'positive murmur' from the crowd.

As he steps up to the plate it occurs to me...'this doesn't seem fun, AT ALL... In fact, it seems really dangerous...There's NO WAY he's ever been within 3' of a 90mph baseball.'

I decide that he's the only person who can explain what just happened with the Cuban...

... Which is problematic because he's an airhead. He won't remember what JUST happened, because he'll consider his 'at bat' more important than the discussion

No.

Clearly, the time to talk about it is RIGHT NOW.

I climb over the railing.

"Special K! Special K!"

He turns toward me with the most hateful WHAT-THE-HELL-ARE-YOU-DOING? look I've ever seen from anyone, anywhere, anytime in my life.

No.

No cops. No stops.

I've gone this far, I've gotta POWER THROUGH.

"The Cuban? What the hell just happened there?"

The K pulls a small container out of his baseball pants and kicks the dirt around home plate. He adds what I know to be CASA BONITA BARBECUE SAUCE to the stirred earth for good luck juju.

[EOD]

b1-67er: That dream seems totally realistic except for the Casa Bonita BBQ sauce.

<Ed: 67 has his psychosomatic hat on, no doubt...

... But he doesn't mention that 66 had read this article after 1st sleep:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/03/dining/best-texas-bbq-restaurants-new-generation.html?smid=nytcore-android-share>

2.7.23

Suck the red hot until you're white and/or blue

b1-66er: I blame Gumby for this...

Fireworks Have a New Competitor: Drones https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/01/business/dealbook/fourth-of-july-fireworks-drones.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

The light displays are quieter, safer and better for the environment.

Okay. But there's gotta be an upside.

b1-67er: The obvious question is do you want a safer fireworks display?

66: As if bad drinking water wasn't enough to endure...

Fourth of July fireworks postponed in Flint due to rain forecast

The Actore: poor bastards

D4rw1n: Jaysus

66: Hard article to pass to the New Fireworks Council. Includes such lines as ...

There are the fireworks. "It's hard to tell the difference between guns and fireworks, and here there is always something on the news about a shooting or something, so it makes me nervous," she said. "They are also bad for the environment. They release a lot of toxic chemicals."

{I suggest a booze milkshake [preferred] or red white and blue Bomb Pop before reading.}

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/02/style/rethinking-july-4th-celebrations.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

Whereas this article is absolutely in keeping with the NFC spirit ...

https://ktla.com/news/local-news/these-are-the-most-dangerous-fireworks-in-the-u-s/

... And I think right now would be an excellent time to tell the Council the first time you ever realized you could read, 67...

Gumby: Only three or four of the fireworks they list ever injured me! Take that, NFC!!

66: {that article also makes an 'interesting' editorial choice...

Firecrackers

Illegal firecrackers

and

Small firecrackers

All reported as separate categories.

The workload at KTLA (or at least their data vacuum suck up and sponge department) must be huge.

Speaking on behalf of the NFC, we wish them a safe and properly percussive 4th.)

I'm surprised sparklers were so low.

My brother and I both believe they're the most dangerous firework, because:

A/ (yes,) we've both had 2nd degree burns from them

-and-

B/ they're the one fricken firework that can damage you after its gone off.

67: My takeaway from that list is that illegal fireworks are safer than legal fireworks.

TA: I'm surprised sparklers were so low.

Also burned by sparkler and had my clothes ignited by a sparkler. Sparklers are the devils candy

67: The first phrase I remember reading was "light fuse. Get away fast."

TA: This ⬆️

66: I can live my whole life...

... make it to my (self-calculated) demise at 97 ...

... and will NEVER have a Life Story Experience better than that.

29.6.23

Bud Light

Special K: I don't know if this is real, but it's good. https://twitter.com/gnuman1979/status/1674180180313612290?s=46&t=5TWNB_Tet7LiX-b4v5Zz2Q

b1-67er: Clearly they haven't learned to keep the fireworks supply in the metal cooler.

D4rw1n: Ill-advisably displaced by beer, no doubt. Missed the briefing concerning the contraindications of mixing intoxicants, ignition sources, and accelerants