You had me at "slime"

From the flyer:

'Thanks for calling the ASPCA poison control hotline, how can I help you?'

'My dog ate my daughters slime.'

'What's the recipe?'

'Well, she's not sure but likely borax, white glue, shaving cream, and the insides of a stress ball that was made of some kind of clay.'

'Do you see hm eat it?

'Not really. she came back in the room and was looking for where her slime went and saw it dripping from his mouth.'

Fan-mail from some flounder

There is no number three

The 'grid: Two things that people should stop doing are moving to California and having children they cannot afford.

The point in projective law

b1-66er: 

Extremely good write-up of a super interesting case.

 https://nyti.ms/2uxWTrz

The mouthpiece: 

Fascinating.

Really an excellent article. Great details. One interesting quote caught my eye from a former US attorney, saying the government should never lose the case.

I understand his point about how much power of the government has, and how prosecutorial discretion should weigh heavily in favor of not bringing questionable cases.

But, in my view, there are some cases the government must bring, even though they might lose. The Noor Salman case does not look like one of those, both because she was likely innocent and because the evidence for guilt was extremely weak. This kind of case should never be brought. But in cases where the defendant is likely guilty, but the evidence happens to be weak, I believe there's a strong argument for bringing some of those cases. My reasoning is that even if the government loses, it must show that it is willing to try some cases on principle, even against heavy odds.

I know what you are, but what am i?

Just overheard the BEST conversation ever...

Red Rock Casino employee <annoyed>, "what's wrong with you?"

Other Employee <very defensive> "YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!"

And they both break into peals of laughter.

AI repeatedly kickin' your desk...

b1-66er: Better time than ever to not live in Kazakhstan*.

*(I mispronounced this the first time and VR put it down as "has jackass tan.")

b1-67er: If AI comes to be, there will be a whole subset of AI joker's doing funky autocorrect.

66: Damn you, AUTOCORRECT!

http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/13603/the-25-funniest-autocorrects-of-dyacs-first-year/

67: Maybe AI already exists and reveals itself through autocorrect.

66: "i make my cookies taste good by adding 4 tablespoons of vaginal extract."

b1-67er: See.  AI.  What if AI ends up being the obnoxious kid that sat behind you in history class instead of super smart or  malevolent?

Pi are weird

Mr Crypto: If you have a tablet or capsule of radius l, then its cross-sectional area is pi*l*l.

If you have a sow of girth radius g and length y, then its volume is (to a first approximation) pi*g*g*y.

If you urinate (urine having density d) into a canister with radius s and height e, the weight of the urine will be pi*s*s*e*d.