just wait for the ferraris

d4rw1n: Pope Francis appears to be stalking me. I'm trying to avoid him, but I've actually been nearly run over by his motorcade of Fiats twice today.

main course as a weapon of mass destruction

b1-66er: the salad bar at the CO casino I'm at has "anti-pasta" salad.
(it must work.  there's no pasta salad there.)

suttonhoo: appetizer as incantation

wait for it ...

the person who shall never be mentioned: I want suspense, not idiocy.

slippery when wrinkly

by b1-66er ...

I get in mom's car.  radio's on.

me: "this is bon jovi?"

mom: "oh I like him!  I like him as a man too!  he's very intelligent."

without you, KTXT readership would be dramatically reduced

b1-66er: stupidest headline of the day (courtesy of qz.com):  Without China, Apple's iPhone pre-orders were probably a big disappointment

special K: It is a bad headline. They're trying to make a valid point, which is last year's preorders didn't include China, so comparisons are unequal. But they hould have said that.

b1: it's jingoist. 
it also doesn't matter. 
here's news: we DO live in a world with China, they ARE part of the total US (and W) accounting scheme.

K: Disagree, disagree, agree.
Companies need to customize their products and practices to sell in China.

b1: it doesn't matter. 
if tomorrow, AAPL could sell to EVERY Chinese person, and sell to NO ONE else, they'd do it in a heartbeat.

K: How is it jingoism? Apple's not patriotic.
Sure.

b1: "without Israel, there'd be less turmoil in the middle east"
"without bacon, there'd be less breakfast meat sold"
"without cheerios, whole grain breakfast cereal sales would be dropping"
"without Soyuz, space station support would go to zero"
"without oxygen, air pollution would be at the deadliest levels ever recorded"

K: t's just math, to make a point. It's like "The Giants hit the same number of homeruns this year as last. They have a new player named Duffy this year who it 20. Therefore the other players hit fewer than they did last year."
It's a stupid modern Internet clickbait headline.

b1: no. 
"it's just dumb."  just use your words to just convey your intent so I can just understand what you mean.

K: I wish they still did that. Now they want to make you click.
I love this account:  https://twitter.com/savedyouaclick

I suppose you're used to a cold spoon and sugar as well?

b1-66er: "Both oatmeal and Cheerios are whole grains, which puts them ahead of cereals like Corn Flakes and Special K."

special K: I'm used to that.

quote of the moment

"Just like you don't need to be a Catholic to get excited about a new Pope, you don't need to be an Apple fanatic to have a mild curiosity in the latest products from one of the largest tech companies on the planet."

-- digg

all we need now is an "oh"

b1-66er: G actually changed their logo AND MY MICROPHONE DESIGN on my cell phone.
thanks, matias.

special KJ: Your microphone design?

b1: on the G bar on my "homescreen" ( which swype wants to call "Jonestown").

KJ: Well, it's their microphone.

b1: let's be very clear.
1. it's not theirs, it's mine.  I "buy" it.
2. I didn't ask for it.
3. it hasn't changed it's behavior in any way.
it also detracts from the user experience.  I pay attention to it.
and ... why, exactly, should I?

KJ: You don't own the software, and you don't have to use it. Why should you pay attention to it? You don't have to.

b1: because it's immediately in front of my face.
the power company doesn't come in and pull their cables up through my floor and color them.
you get to make a decision.  do you want to be called special KJ for the rest of your life? 
you can be.  all you have to say is, "yes."

KJ: I don't own what you call me. Just like you don't own that goddamn Chilean Playskool microphone.

b1: you saved yourself.
beginning today you return to being called "special K."
congratulations.
and thanks.

special K: de nada.

b1: it was a risky, but fervent, play.

K: Something I'm not noted for.

come on Barbie, let's go tart-y

b1-66er: perhaps the best news story I've ever read.  I want to father all her children.
http://time.com/4022451/barbie-jeep-dwi/

pickles: That's fucking hilarious!
Minus the dwi part

b1: isn't it just the best.

p: Yes.
I love her quote about the fifteen minutes of fame.

b1: and the DWI part is EXACTLY the right play.  they can pull your license for refusing a breathalyzer, but they canNOT get you for DWI (no evidence)...
so she has no alcohol-driving record.

p: Makes sense. Both results suck ass.

b1: learned that one from dad's drunk driving attorney.

p: Makes sense. It's a smart move.
Good info to have.

b1: Basically, it was the best decision I've made in college, yet...
5*s to the writer of that article.  PERFECT crescendo.  I can only WISH to write that well.
I'm writing her a fan letter.

p: The writer or the fortunate blonde?

b1: the fortunate blonde.
I'll write the author too.

p: You should send the girl a Barbie sized cup and tell her to only drink that much next time.

b1: THAT'S funny.
better still, send her a dozen.

read the TXT

solid goldstein: Dreamt I won a bunch of money on a gaming machine called Pay The Man.  Basically you would put a bill in and it would either swallow it or swallow it and then push out a wad of bills. 

of bowels and vowels

d4rw1n: Great sushi joint in DC near my office. So good I might consider trying their poison blowfish but . . .

LOOK WHERE THEY POST THEIR GODDAMN NOTICE OF THE POISON BLOWFISH SPECIAL. Men's room wall. I'm officially put off. They've been doing this for years. I really don't understand the thinking behind this.

b1-66er: that's just funny.
and your outrage is even funnier.

the "point" must be solving:
"hmm.  I just dumped a massive log.  I can feel a vacancy in my colon.  what can I pass through now that would be interesting?"

d4: Yeah. Eww.

I realize I never told you about Korea. My first observation was that they did not really want to talk about Pyongyang or Kim Jong Un. I asked several people and I began to get the feeling it was kind of like asking a New Yorker if they thought there would be another twin towers attack.

My second observation was K pop music has become really good.

I went to a hologram concert of Psy (ridiculous and fun), 2NE1 (poppy and fun), Big Bang (channeling Boyz to Men perfectly) and G Dragon feat. T.O.P. (A sub-unit of Big Bang) (best of them all. Check out their very legit song Zutter on YouTube. Zutter is pronounced roughly like cheddah. I'm told Zutter translates roughly to "dope," as in "that joint Zutter is pretty dope.").

b1: G DRAGON!

d4: Also goes by GD. Also in Zutter says something like (going by translations on the internet here) "call me G-O-D."

b1: uh.  https://youtu.be/D8t8A8E_Tqc

Watch "BABYMETAL - ギミチョコ！!
https://youtu.be/WIKqgE4BwAY

in math terms: babymetal >> G Dragon

d4: Familiar with Babymetal and like them. But for me not better, just different. It's like comparing apples and Agent Orange.

b1: absolutely, precisely, right.

I prefer apples.

d4: Depends on the application.

b1: NO!

you were SO on the bus.  you were driving, in fact.  and you fell asleep at the wheel ...

if some random stranger came up on the street and said, "apples our agent orange?"
I'd say, "apples."
ALWAYS.

d4: Sure, but what if they said, who's your favorite Billy Ray Valentine character?

b1: I'm super clever in situations like this ...
"I say, I'm sorry I don't know who Billy Ray Valentine is.  hey, you don't happen to have an apple, do you?"

d4: Very clever. But my answer is, nope, but Billy Ray is Eddie Murphy's grifter character in Trading Places. My favorite con is when we first meet him and he's rolling around the streets of Manhattan Ona a homemade cart pretending to be a double-amputee Vietnam vet, code name Agent Orange.

b1: I'm not THAT clever.  then again, I've never kept anyone out of jail because they've purposefully ignored America's international trade laws.
we all have a role we've defined for ourselves.  that's yours. 

mine's watching apples on reels.