12.2.22

Fielding the force

Mouthpiece R US: ... [In the] meantime was typing you this: I have another very funny story about [an old girlfriend] ...she was lovely, and I have to confess she was very good in bed. One of the things that amused me was that during sex, she would use not-quite-the-right-word. Once she said, "fuck me with more force! I want it with more force!!" Anyway, at some point she told me she used to date [a guy] when he was on SNL. She had only good things to say about him -- that he was kind, and a gentle soul -- but he was damaged, and all he really cared about was keeping his dream job on SNL. Eventually she broke up with him and that was that. Fast forward a few years, we're dating, and one morning listening to Howard Stern, he has on [SNL guy]. I immediately phone [OGF] and leave a message, "you gotta turn on your radio to DC101, Howard Stern is interviewing [SNL]!!" I hang up, and Howard (of course) is by that time salaciously asking him about his love life, saying that from being on SNL he must have tons of women after him etc etc. [SNL] demurs, and says he's dating a lovely German woman. Stern asks, "what's that like, dating a foreign chick?" And Hammond says, "it's great, though during sex they always use the wrong words, like 'I want it with more force! More force!!'" It was, to say the least, quite unnerving to hear [SNL] doing a spot on impersonation of my girlfriend having sex. Meantime, I was thinking, "I sure hope [OGF] didn't listen to my voicemail and tune in to hear that..."

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