Land of prose and moonshine

Stearno: Amazon just notified me that your hoses are on your porch.

b1-66er: Absolutely perfect timing. I just got out of bed. Thank you, Stearno!

CNN just informed me that 

Oregon residents are illegally stopping drivers at gunpoint during wildfire evacuations

When you're not allowed to pump your own gas, things happen. 

S: Not all Oregon residents

My shift isn't until Thursday

Wait. Is that the Cheezolator K?

b1-66er: That article is actually pretty good. 

Best Whizzinator story you'll read today. I promise. 

Special K: Yes.

b1: I'm pretty sure you read more whizzinator stories than I do. 

K: I'm completely sure.

What matters is the Uni -- not the lever

Special K: "Man Known as BabyQ Is in Trouble for Using Synthetic Penis"

b1-66er: If I advise him about it, would that be a 

Baby Q tip?

...Like Barbie clothes that're the wrong size...

b1-66er: ...I asked b1-67er if he'd sunk his entire bonsai forest into baby pools when the fire was across the street...

... and it was like he'd heard the voice of God...

... OH! THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!

Stearno: Oh, man, a bonsai forest fire would be the most awful cutest thing.

The Count of Monte Fritos

b1-66er: "1 in custody for setting fire to Las Vegas motel room with someone inside"

"Pringles tube tries to wake from 'recycling nightmare'"

Special K: Put those together, you have a good horror movie.

Snipe hunting with the K!

Special K: My front yard. Find the sun. 

I know what you aren't, but what aren't I?

b1-66er: "Can You Tell a Narcissist by Where They Take You on a Date?"

Special K: You can't tell a narcissist anything.

b1: How would I know?

K: Same.