... and a pretzel

b1-66er: "This pricey drink was sold by text message. Now it's hitting Walmart shelves"

Special K: "Fax me a beer"

b1: Perfect response. 

Don't go toward the light!

The Dear Hunter: <lighting fixture,  MI>

The other side of not there

b1-66er: I had the craziest craziest conversation with a seatmate on LAS>DEN...

I'm sitting in the middle of an F9 bulkhead...

and this guy gets on with the WILDEST bozo hair...

I detect a slight accent... slavic? something...

"Where're you from?"

"Small town. Just outside Munich."

He's a German national. His English is PERFECT and nuanced...

"Where? I might know it."

"Karlsfeld."

"I've been there. I worked for a high tech company...a spin off of Apple's that had offices near there. I went with them to Ocktober Fest. We drove through there. That was a l-o-n-g time ago, 25 years"...

AND OFF THE CONVERSATION GOES.  

He's getting ready to start college but is taking a gap year. He's been working in a tire foundry in Canada...

On and on...

... his mom's from Berlin...

... and then he says something that's not quite right...

... some Berlin reference...

... and I realize...

He's 20 years old!

HE'S NEVER BEEN AROUND WHEN THERE WAS A GDR.  OR THE WALL...

So, since I seem to have suddenly anointed myself as Educator of the World, I decide it's time to instruct...

"I know you've been to Las Vegas. Berlin was like the adult version of THAT.  Gambling. Food. Booze. More. Things I'm sure I don't know. At the age of 59, even NOW, I'm probably not even allowed to know"...

...and the guy sitting next to me who's been reading a book for an hour, SAYING NOTHING because he's not in the conversation...[but has laughed at 2 of my (self-proclaimed) funnier jokes, so I know he's listening] sez, 

"This dude is right! A friend of mine called me from Paris. He said,  'Man! We need to go to Berlin!' and I'd never even been to Europe before...

... but you better believe I hung up the phone, called my travel agent and booked a ticket RIGHT THEN...

We were there for TWO WEEKS... 

WE DID EVERYTHING AND we did nothing...

it was simultaneously: infinitely long and incredibly short. "

... he pauses and looks wistfully at his armrest...

"It was the best time of my life. I'm certain it will never be surpassed. I'll never go back to Europe ... because nothing there will ever be as good again. Why bother?"

And the conversation intruder puts his book away and stares blankly into the bulkhead wall... 

...You can tell it hits my newfound German friend hard hard hard...

He's just been handed puzzle pieces to a picture he never even knew existed...

He's taking it all in. 

I've gotta make it easier on him and bridge this gap. I say,

 "here's what you need to do... Go have a beer with your mom... go to her favorite place...

... and ask her to tell you about Berlin. "

He's almost crying. "I vill." Then he mumbles,  "I vill."

...I wish you and your wife could've been there for thre conversation.  

Zoombie <10 hours later>:  Imagine my surprise to wake up to 27 text messages.  I was expecting a Gaza Strip tirade, but instead get a much better surprise ... I received a fascinating and touching Berlin human interest story!  Incredible and very moving.

How fortuitous that the third man was there to amplify your stories.

That kid will remember the conversation for the rest of his life.  Dare I say it may even change it.

Your story also brings to the fore how fortunate I am to have experienced life in Berlin, post wall, but especially prior to it tumbling down. It resurrects a certain nostalgia for sure.

Right place, right time. I'm happy you were able to give that man the experience and took the time to share it with me.  Thanks my friend!

b1: You're certainly welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. 

Did I miscategorize or misrepresent anything?

Z: Not at all.

You brought up points I never pondered in quite that way.

b1: Tell me what/ how. 

Z: Since I've never been to LV, it would never have occurred to me to compare the two cities.

Makes total sense though.

b1: Oh!

Western humanity appears to have a built up anxiety problem they believe is relieved by a Vegas-like atmosphere. 

Z: Wish Matryoshka and I could have listened in. 

b1: She either would have divorced you and married me...

or decapitated me with a rusty butter knife and put my cranium in the "overhead" bin. 

The whole time I was talking I was thinking, "if there're any Germans listening to this, i MIGHT be a deadman. "

Nothing's worse than the know-it-all who's been a fortnight tourist. 

You should show her the thread and see what she thinks. 

Z: I will.

I'll have her read it when she gets home from work.  I'm curious as well.

Film is TXT is reality

Special K: I applied to be an extra in Matrix 4.

b1-66er: Whoa•

Saaawweeeeet

b1-66er: In France,  fashion is the number 2 industry.

Q: What's #1?

"Cinnamon is made from the inner bark of the Cinnamomum tree. Its unique properties come from its essential oils, such as cinnamaldehyde."

K: Special K: Perfume?

b1: When you die,  I'm having you preserved in cinnamaldehyde.

K: That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

b1: The correct answer to the industry question is: aeronautics. 

Channel surfing the deep end

b1-66er: "What have I done to earn contempt?"

"Maybe it's because you don't do anything.   You just come up with ideas. "

"Where did Danny meet him?"

"Who knows... race track... locker room... Disneyland..."

"May I use your phone for a long distance call?"

"Long distance?"

"I'll have it reversed. "

"You quit fighting?"

"Yeah, I was running out of scar tissue. "

"If it's so fool proof, why hasn't anyone done it yet?"

"Because they don't have the equipment.  Why haven't we landed on the moon?"

"I didn't figure we'd come across a Pier 6 broad this far inland. "

"I'll give 'em a party, you make the drinks. "

"I'll give you good news and bad. "

"I don't need more bad news,  give me the good. "

"We're leaving Phoenix."

"THAT'S WONDERFUL! What's the bad news?"

"We're going to Salt Lake City. "

"You don't get rich if you don't take a chance. "

"Will my cut be big enough to send my kids to college?"

"Big enough to buy your kids a college. "

"In my book, 'bravery' rhymes with 'stupid.'"

"You better stop getting prettier everyday. You'll get a monopoly. "

"Why'd you come over if you knew it was a gag. "

"Well... it was Christmas. "

"Now just sit there and don't interrupt me. "

"[You're] the only husband in the world who would proposition his own wife. "

"Let's say you're right, absolutely right...but I didn't invent myself. "

"Now wait a minute Big Buster. "

"You really are a rat. "

"Maybe I should say 'thank you,' for being humiliated. "

"Your momma has great taste?"

"Does she?"

"You ever make a buck yourself?"

"No, but I have plans. "

"I couldn't be in error could i?"

"You know what your problem is? You underestimate people!"

"Where there are hoods, there are stool pigeons. "

"Is this the only route into or out of Las Vegas?"

"Yeah, Route 91."

Special K: This is all in Planet of the Apes?

b1: Yes.  PotA, Oceans 11 Deluxe Edition.

"I grant you're brave. The question now is, "How dumb are ya?""

"It's nothing. Nothing, Daddy darling. "

"You ever mix this with a dames makeup, it would make for some very interesting... midnights."

"I'm hip!"

"When it's ala carte, then we get sensible. "

"I'm standing here like a leafy elm until you cash that check. "

"I had the key made. Careful with it! It cost me two bits."

"You look like you've got combat fatigue girls! You've been on that line a l-o-n-g time. "

"As steady as down country lovin'."

"What're you doing here?"

"Same thing you are; cheating."

"I was always taught animals like you rattled before they struck. "

"I'm so drunk, I don't think I could lie down without holding on. "

"Oh, pardon me! Wrong girl!"

"Are you boys entitled to make a deal?"

"May I ask you a question?"

"If it's the right one. "

"Get a rundown of every train leaving Vegas.  Passenger and freight. "

"It's it true,  someone stole millions of dollars?"

"Oh, yes ma'am, but there's still some left. "

"You're talking on a dead phone, Charlie. "

"Well suit yourself. There's a live one at the sheriff's office. "

"Even as a liar you're an amateur!"

"Operator, give me DUDley 62 69 69."

THE END

Improper mathematical behavior

Special K: Did you know that fractions expressed as a numerator and denominator are called vulgar fractions? I didn't.

b1-66er: I did not. 

What's the opposite?

A "proper" fraction?  And what does it consist of. 

K: A "decimal fraction."

Not sure how widespread those terms are. I learned it from that 0/3 Unicode thing. 

b1: Gimme an example, please.

K: Any decimal. 0.5, 0.77, etc.

b1: I see. 

Thank you. 

So why use the word "vulgar" to describe the other ones?

K: I haven't found an explanation for that. 

b1: Well work on it, bitch. 

K: No.

b1: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/21106/obscenity-vs-profanity-vs-vulgarity-whats-difference