you've just never paid enough

K: A giant purple vagina made of lightning just opened up in the sky, and Genghis Khan rode out on a horse.
I don't think I've seen that before.

the sequel's gonna be awhile

K: Movie coming on: "In the year 2889". "Nuclear war survivors hide from telepathic cannibal mutants.". WOW. Or! "Roger Corman's Frankenstein Unbound"

like a porcupine

b1: this week i've seen both "the lion king" (2 x $100 tix) and leonard
cohen (4 x probably $75 tix) as part of my ticket subscriptions service,
for free.

K: Leonard Cohen IS the Lion King

b1: THAT'S NOT THE POINT YOU FRICKEN DIM BULB.

K: Don't be cranky when you have seen Leonard Cohen.

b1: don't be the stupidest class clown.

K: Don't be a mean prick.

b1: okay, then what kind of prick am i *supposed* to be?

K: Be a prickelnd.

scrambled versions of "like"

b1: i'm having the $7 steak and eggs midnight special at the flamingo. *** K: I love LV.

M.C.

b1: don meredith died.

K: I enjoyed him in the 70s.

b1: all of america did. a great foil for cosell.

K: I enjoyed Cosell too.

b1: cosell was my favorite of all time. he was so good, he made *ali* better.

it's full of stardust

b1: here's the hanukkah menu at the eC.  $19 from 16:00 - 22:00.

K: Superb. Get the kugel. What's eC?

b1: the el cortez.  greatest casino in vegas.

K: As you know, I love Las Vegas. I wonder if I've ever told you all my Las Vegas stories.

1. When I cut my head open outside the Stardust.

2. When my grandfather was a VIP at the Sahara and I thought he was a gangster (I know I've told you that).

3. When I got stuck in a casino at age 7.

4. My mom wanted to move there.

5. My grandparents made over 100 trips there.

6. Momma K says she hates it but she kind of likes it now.

7. When I was harassed by fake hookers in a fake brothel.

8. Phil Goldman's bachelor party.

9. The roller coaster in Primm.

10. The swinger's convention.

11. When I saw Shirley Bassey and Buddy Hackett at the Sahara showroom.

12. The time I went to bed early but then got up because I only had 1 night in Vegas.

13. Our plans to spend New Year's Eve 2000 in Vegas and Y2K fears.

14. When the Vegas heat killed my Prius battery.

15. Fake blueberry cheesecake at Caesar's.

if you say "no," very, very slowly, it sounds different

b1: the las vegas wranglers are playing @ 23:59 on 12/27. the only team in the minors who do that.

K: In the U. S.

b1: in the fricken US. what country are you living in these days? and why the hell are you up so late?

K: I was working. And I stay up late on weekends.

b1: you sound like a robot.

K: No I do not. No I do not.
It's the 8th annual. It's for people who work nights.

b1: you've told me nothing i don't know AND you haven't answered your own fricken question.

K: No I do not. No I do not. No I do not. No I do not.