The M Judge has your sign

b1-66er: The new SW isn't liked, I guess. 

Special K: It has very mixed reviews. I predict I'll like it. 

b1: Okay•

Does the joiner part of you say you'll like it?  That's what determines all your behavior. 

K: That question is a tautology. 

b1: What zodiac sign are you?

El Toroido?

K: Capricornus. 

b1: Capricorney.

Capricornholio.

K: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Bread and butter (and knife and can opener)

b1-66er: <picture of can> Turns out this is a thing. 

(Just to be clear...

... canned...

... bread. )

Lawrencian: Lol  Didn't see that one coming 😁

b1: That's how you know you're from the W.

L: And proud of it

b1: You and me both, pard... 

L: 👍

b1: ... our attitude is identical...

Because 

THIS MAKES NO SENSE!

... if you're going to go E of the MS river, just keep goin'...

L: Until you hit Europe

b1: ... until you can find a bleacher to talk to Keith Moon. 

L: Lol

<ed: which happened to Lawrencian at a Who concert in the 70s.>

Phases of the loon

b1-66er: Did you go through a princess phase?

The Accomplice: Sorta. I was always dressing up all the time. I loved the costume box.

b1: I believe that. 

You still do. 

TA: Princess was part of the equation only. We have photos of me as a clown, Cupid, Carmen, and a go-go dancer, along with princess and who-knows-what else.

Slip not

b1-66er: Letting go is part of grasping reality.

The accomplice: It's part of reality bashing me upside the head until I drop things.

Truth in number

Special K: "The difference between a million and a billion is about a billion."

Which soup are you?

b1-66er: I'm foggy, groggy and contemplating my future. 

Harris see

b1-66er: Harris dropped out of the presidential race.

Special K: I'm surprised she didn't do better.

b1: Me too.  Strong out of the gate.

I've always had a theory on Obama...

I think he was floated as a trial balloon in 2008 after a strong speech at an earlier convention...

He did SO well in IA that they decided to put some steam behind him.

They were thinking 2012 when they started him.  

I'm certain of it.

Harris is a future run possibility as well.

Wags who follow politics closely have an extremely difficult time looking further forward.

K: I completely agree with your analysis.

b1: You're a genius.

K: I completely agree with your analysis.

Face-to-face

b1-66er: https://news.artnet.com/art-world/debbie-harry-andy-warhol-1696761

Deadhead: Andy aNdy anDy andY

After Birth

b1-66er: "Expectant mother gives birth on American Airlines jetway; gives daughter appropriate name"

Overhead Bin?

Beverage Cart?

Special K: AirPop?

The stars all day are far away...

b1-66er: the instigator is being kicked out of his house 1/16-9 for his wife's knitting circle.  He offered to come to LV...

I said, "I'm going to be at the flyer's house in TX then.  You'd be welcome to join us (it's 3600sqft...she wouldn't even know you were there if you didn't feel like being announced)."

He said, "LOL, thanks for offering the flyer's space, but that's OK. Have fun!"

Former Flyer: Haha!! I'm going to assume he is rejecting Texas and not me! 

b1: I didn't want to pursue that line of reasoning.

I couldn't understand what "the best possible answer" was.

...and not Gilligan's Island, either

Special K: https://www.wired.com/story/google-shakes-up-its-tgif-and-ends-its-culture-of-openness

b1-66er: Yeah, i saw this.

What's your take?

K: Sad but inevitable. Growth kills intimacy. Companies and other ongoing projects usually become self-parodies.

b1: Yes.

Americans are particularly bad about not understanding the responsibilities of freedom.

K: I give G credit for preserving the big meeting for as long as it did. But then the company grew too fast, hiring standards dropped, and much has gone to shit.

b1: Yessir.

Of all the people i know, YOU live Animal Farm.

K: Momma K and I were discussing recently, which dystopia would you choose to live in? Brave New World, Rollerball, Logan's Run, Hunger Games, other? Presumably not 1984.

Jinping pong

b1-66er (some guy): 

What's your take on this shake, counselor?

I think it's super interesting. https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/19/asia/china-hong-kong-npc-mask-ban-intl-hnk/index.html

...and i wonder if spy stuff isn't downat the very root of it all.

D4rw1n (international trade lawyer): 

I agree - super interesting. My thoughts:

1. I'm 100% certain that a major reason the Chinese want a mask ban is so they can track protesters with facial recognition tech. I'm also certain that the protesters' use of masks is 50% tear gas protection (an npr reporter filed a muffled report Saturday - she was introduced by the anchor as "reporting through a gas mask" because of so much tear gas on the scene) and 50% facial recognition countermeasure

 Aside: I heard a long-form interview of one protester on This American Life where she said umbrellas are rain protection, facial recognition countermeasure, and rubber bullet defense. "we don't know why, but they just bounce off" - or words to that effect. I found that super interesting.

b1: Yeah.  

It's a surface tension thing, like skipping a rock on water. You don't wanna catch that reflection, though, because then that bastard is tumbling...

...you also don't want a partially collapsed umbrella.

D4: Right 

 Break your jaw or put out an eye 

 3. I don't think anybody knows what the hell is constitutional or not in Hong Kong. I'm pretty sure the mainland legislature will overturn the court decision because nobody in Hong Kong has any authority to say otherwise 

b1: THE big thing of that article is the constitutionality concept...

They've got a weird problem.  Because...

A) they know HK makes them look cooler on the world stage (it does).  And it also provides a cultural translator to the W.

It provides something like 10% of the GDP to the entire country.

So it seems like you gotta hang on.

But if you get a Draconian, you kill the golden egg layer.

D4: Right. But you can't let it undermine your absolute rule on the mainland

b1: And B) people on the mainland HAVE to be hearing, at least distorted, things about what's going on through rumor and friends of relatives of friends...

There's gonna be some crazy hacker underground too.

D4: Yes. Super sophisticated programmer community from what you read 

b1: I think the underlying problem is you've got a country moving in what they want to be a lock step...

But the society doesn't encourage individual thought...

So you don't have the raw politboro tools to figure out how to crack it. 

D4: I see where you're going. It's a risk to train people to be sheep when some of your biggest problems will require some seriously creative thinking 

b1: Exactly.

Because that, right here, right now, is what they need.

And the people who have that?  For goddamn sure they're not going to raise their heads.

To me this all feels like Berlin on about November 6, 1991.

D4: There's a counterargument though.  Kai-Fu Lee in AI Superpowers.

Says the West's (admittedly comforting, to me) characterization of China as conformist is off.

He thinks they are highly creative and flexible 

And thinks that is what could propel them to global economic dominance 

I don't recall the book applying this argument to constitutional politics 

But there's a compelling anecdote about the central government adjusting on the fly when a big entrepreneur demonstrated good results in a dedicated tech

economist zone he created 

Govt adopted it right away and created conditions for it to take off in like 100 additional cities 

b1: I personally know Kai Fu.  He's not right in this case.

D4: Huh - want to talk further about his book then

b1: I haven't read it.  Sounds like i should first.

He was the voice recognition guy at AAPL and i was the evangelist.  He was working on a competitive program that the company bought (i think) and then incorporated...

...we'd bounce ideas off each other.

I don't know his background.

And i don't, for a second, think that we in the W -or the U.S. specifically- have some sort of unblinkered view of an absolute truth...

...everything WE think/believe/view is colored by high capitalism.

D4: No, but I definitely am prone to wishful thinking when it comes to China - hoping they'll implode 

(Before we do)

b1: But what's the result? 

 People don't get that everything changes, always.  That we're not one block away from finishing the pyramid...

No.  

We're another step around the track.  

No lap limit.

D4: Right 

b1: Like let's look at a different problem. 

The environment.

Let's say you fix EVERYTHING.  Air.  Plastics.  Water.  Animals.  Plants.  Everything...

...Okay.  You fixed it.  Good job.  Hard.  Good good job...

Now what?

Well, I've got a brand new pair of rollerball skates...

D4rw1n: So my secretary was assigned to identify a venue for a conference we're putting on. Once word gets out that we're bringing lots of people to town, the hotels all start trying to bribe her with swag. This is what the Watergate sent. Thought you would appreciate it.

Depends on what you mean by "slip"

<Former Flyer sends pic>

b1-66er: Great.

What's it feel like out there?

FF: Fucking Antarctica 

b1:OH!  

Doesn't look like Antarctica.  Looks like sweater weather.  Or is that your margarita expressing saltrage?

FF: It's 40 degrees right now. And it was 32 last night. Ice on the stairs to the back yard.

It reminds me of being in Yosemite. Something like that.

b1: "Ice on the stairs to the backyard" might be the best short story title I've ever heard.

Time to get on the Plano

Former Flyer: Jan 31st we are traveling for a gymnastics meet

b1-66er: Where's the meet?  (Not LV i presume)

FF: I think that one is in Plano. I need to double check though.

b1: God and 16 Year Old Former Flyer.  A play in one act.  

===

Setting: a machine shop.  An Intel logo can be seen through an exterior window.  Aha! "Take on me" is blaring through a distorted FM radio with a pencil hole stuck through a speaker...

Disembodied voice: "In the future you will take your twins to acrobatic competition in Plano, Texas."

Former Flyer <with peach flavored lip gloss in a red satin blouse>: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

<FIN>

===

The prize inside

Z: The two greatest gifts from almost dying: presence and gratitude.

Give me liberty, or give me an iPhone!

The former flyer: Sorry, derailed by children's liberty. Talk soon.

b1-66er: Children's GODDAMN LIBERTY.

ff: Fucking autocorrect changed it twice. Puberty!

One of those daze

b1-66er: "The heliosphere can be thought of as a cosmic weather front – a distinct boundary where charged particles rushing outward from the sun at supersonic speed meet a cooler, interstellar wind blowing in from supernovae that exploded millions of years ago..."

"This then gives way to emotions such as disgust, regret, guilt, anger, and always shame."

"It put itself up for sale, brought Shaq on board, and unveiled a calzone that no one cared about. "

'Papa John's corporate looked deep within itself, turned to a mirror, and asked: "What is Papa John's?" The answer, of course, is garlic dipping sauce.'

Archaeologists in Peru have found domesticated avocado seeds buried with Incan mummies dating back to 750 BC. But it was the Aztecs in 500 BC who named it āhuacatl, which translates to "testicle."

"In Michoacán, where 80% of Mexico's avocados originate, cartels run a so-called "blood avocado" trade, violently enforcing a nonnegotiable extortion fee from farmers based on the size of their land and the weight of their crop."

ONE MILLION CANNIBAL ANTS TRAPPED IN SOVIET NUCLEAR BUNKER HAVE ESCAPED

Special K: Thank god they're cannibals. 

b1: Exactly.

Do my random TXTs drive you insane?

K: I'm sane. 

So, no. 

I feel a warmth from them. 

b1:Quite a string:

Heliosphere

Binge eating

Papa John's (x2)

Avocados

Nuclear cannibal ants

AND THAT'S JUST TODAY!

There IS a warmth from them.

It's essentially 

Infinity of the Internet

As opposed to

24 Hours of TV

Hallowe'en eve

b1-66er: "This idea of purity and you're never compromised and you're always politically 'woke' and all that stuff. You should get over that quickly. The world is messy, there are ambiguities. People who do really good stuff have flaws. People who you are fighting may love their kids. And share certain things with you."

--Barack Obama

Coors

(Officially known as the Molson Coors Brewing Company)

Has changed its name to the Molson Coors Beverage Company.

Special K: There goes my childhood.

b1: What's YOUR problem, Jack?

There goes my NEIGHBORHOOD...

...just ride down 32nd on your bike and you go through the Coors tunnel.

K: No. I think I'll have PB&J or maybe a big salad.

b1: That makes me feel bad for you.

Do you have to mention any catch phrase to get the TB taco?

K: "Yo, bro. Lay that stolen base taco upon me at this time, jack!"

b1: But if you say THAT, won't they hit you with the Jack in the Box baton?

K: They might call police.

b1: If they call police, you'll get shot...

Vegas cops just shoot you...

...i have no problem with that...as long as *i* am not the one getting shot.

https://www.wired.com/story/hellvetica-spooky-twist-helvetica/

K: The Hellvetica thing is weird. I expected something spooky or creepy.

 

b1: You don't get it...

It's Helvetica...

...BUT IT'S NOT!...

...Spooky!

K: Whee. 

b1: You're getting it.  Not every TXT from me is as big as a free taco...

...we both only wish it was.

K: This is a disappointment in my life. 

b1: I wish i could make it better.

My only defense is i do what i can.

K: It's all any of us can do. 

https://www.lawfareblog.com/house-resolution-impeachment-procedures

b1: Who writes that impeachment doc?  I don't even know.

K: House staff, I assume. That's the House bill. 

b1: It just feels like the worst job you could ever have.  

Like being center on a football team.

EVERYONE talks about what a spudnut you are when you get it...

...wrong.

NO ONE notices when you get it right.

K: They do it so they can move on later. 

b1: No.

That's why we live.

K: They become good public servant or evil shitheads.

b1: Apparently B.O.'s comments didn't sink into you today.

K: I'm Molly Brown. 

b1: You're unsinkable and live in a castle?

K: Hell(vetica) yes. 

b1: Jesus.

I think all this political stuff has short wired you.

K: I'm so good. 

b1: THE thing the Trump presidency has done is absolutely whack out 95% of my friends.

K: Hmm. 

b1: That's the way he affects me the most.  By far.

K: Maybe they know something you're missing. 

b1: Laws? Same.

National Conservation Area?  Same.

Cleveland Clinic?  Same. 

Insurance?  Same.

Taxes?  Same.

Friends?  Whack-a-doodle.

K: Fat Chad sitting with a thud. 

b1: I don't even know what means, but it makes me LOL.

K: Me too. It's a quote from the next room, where Momma K is tutoring reading. 

b1: Are YOU Fat Chad?  Is that a voting machine thing?  New comic Super Villain?

K: I identify with Fat Chad. 

b1: I just did a searchon that phrase...

...and found a book!...

K: That's the one!

b1: ...Written by...

...David HAndler.

{ed: not mutual acquaintance, David Hendler

https://twitter.com/scottknaster/status/984466394417840128?s=20}

K: Now that's spooky!

b1: Hellyatica.

K: Yes!

b1: You should make Hellyatica.

Every number is a beer.

The higher ups

Special K: My new manager works in Boulder. He has a master's degree in biblical exegisis.

b1-66er: Good or bad one?

K: I haven't met him yet, but I'm not sanguine.

From this school: https://www.wheaton.edu/

b1: (They're a big deal.  Not pursuing is surprising.)

K: Pursuing what?

b1: Theology.

K: Oh God.

b1: Precisely.

Careful when you talk to him about the bible...he'll know more than you will.

K: If I'm talking to him about the Bible, something has gone wrong.

Anyway, I don't expect to report to him for long. I think our group

 will crumble entirely by end of year or so.

What does a devout Christian think of Jews, anyway? How can they not think less of us?

b1: Depends on the Xian.

Something between "old stock" and "not yet learned."

K: I'll be sure to confess my Judaism to my new boss at first meeting.

b1: You won't have to.

He'll either already know or won't care.  (Only Semites and anti-Semites care who the Jews are.)

K: What if I greet him with "L'chaim?"

b1: Tell me.

K: I'll say 'L'chaim, Reverend!"

b1: That plays.

K: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wick-K-pedia

b1-66er: What will you miss most about living?

Special K: That depends. What is death like?

b1: It's like a match being blown out.

K: I'll miss the candle.

I see red

Special K: This is on the whiteboard of the conference room I'm in.  {Sunnyvale, CA; USA}

Dis-robe

The accomplice: Just woke up from a nightmare where you were kidnapped after meeting someone at a coffeeshop--in your bathrobe! And I waited to call 911 because I thought you'd come back. And I was sexually assaulted (not raped, but close) while I was looking for you in the streets. I woke up because I couldn't understand the woman when I finally was able to call 911. Why did you go to that sinister meeting IN YOUR BATHROBE!?!?

b1-66er: It was easier than finding my other pair of clean pants.

Ta: Okay! I understand that.

Google family 1.--

b1-66er: What's G clinic do?

Special K: 1/2 You can receive a range of services at the Google Wellness Centers including:

Primary Care/Wellness visits

Mental health

Physical Therapy & Chiropractic  care

Health Coaching

Travel Health

Lab Orders

Allergy Shots

One Medical primary care providers partner with you in taking care of your health and helping you meet your personal health and wellness goals. Appointment lengths vary between 15 minutes and 40 minutes depending on your need.

Primary care services can include:

"Well visit" or annual physical exams, including pap tests

Preventive health screenings

Same/next-day appointments when you're sick or have an injury

Birth control and family planning

Cardiovascular disease management

Digestive disorder treatment

Diabetes & hypertension management

Musculoskeletal treatment

Allergy & asthma treatment

Anxiety, depression & insomnia treatment

Stress management

On-site blood work with a lab order from your provider

24/7 access to One Medical's virtual care

b1: Whoa.

Can you get an abortion?

"Birth control and family planning"

My 'family plan' is to not have one and get an abortion.'

K: Probably that's a referral.

They'll send you to a place, I bet.

b1: Oh.

Buffet Crisis?

b1-66er: "An impeachment inquiry is not a dinner invitation."

Special K: Right. Because dinner is delicious.

Flying the pocket rockets

b1-66er (flying LAS -> PHX): I haven't flown AA in YEARS.

b1-67er (flying SJC -> PHX): I think they went bust and were reconstituted.

66: The passengers look/act like the misbegotten.

I fit right in.

BIG argument from a woman who has 5 bags.

"I WILL NOT CHECK ONE!  EVEN FOR FREE!  THERE ARE THINGS IN HERE THAT CAN BREAK!"

67: Here they look normal but a little old. Definitely not the Allegiant mad dog 20/20 crowd.

66: I like that term.

AMD-20.

How many boarding zones ARE there?

  I'm in 9.

67: I'm in 9. They just announced that if you don't have a boarding group, board with 7.  So we are on Team Behind Team Last Place.

66: I shouldn't chortle snort laugh before i board a plane.

67: The airlines are playing a new discount ticket game: we will sell you a cheap ticket but then subject you to psychological warfare.

I bet their lawyers are looking at waterboarding.

Smuggy Summer Games

D4rw1n: How was the rest of your Sunday?

b1-66er: Super great.

Good (small) card game at Aqualung's.  

Me, b1-67er, Car Hands, Gumby.

Aqua's kids played a few hands (their first ever!).  

Both (legitimately) won pots.

I was awarded the Theo Prize. 

A very small plastic loving cup with coins.

Aqua told me it was for, "telling the most jokes he couldn't understand"...

...but i think it was actually just for being pathetic and looking like homeless Santa.

D: Why not both?

b1: Because Homeless Santa beats Coy Joke Guy in Sociological Roshambo.

D: And smug quick-witted answer guy beats homeless Santa but loses to coy joke guy. I get it.

b1: Of course YOU do.

hook 'em horns!

b1-66er: try some bison?

https://www.insider.com/leave-bison-alone-2019-8

secret asian man: Buffaloed by a buffalo.

b1: touche.

Stop TXTing Doubts

b1-66er: Bus sign--

Tinder?

FREE STD CHECKING

Special K: SF / SJ or LV?

b1: LV

K: It does sound very LV. Too prude for SJ. In SF it would have to be more hip.

b1: "Homo say what?

FREE STD TESTING YOU BACKRIDER!"

K: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Exactly. 

Reach up for the plug

b1-66er: What's your take on Boris Johnson?

Entropy Dave (British and US passport holder, resident of Scotland): Liar. Cheater. Lazy. Self-serving. Foolish. Intelligent. 

4:1 he comes unstuck within six months. 
A low point in British politics. 

b1: Oh god.  I'm sorry to hear it.

God save Her Majesty and the Empire.

The spring in your scalpel!

b1-66er: At the person-who-shall-never-be-mentioned's orthopedist.

Joyful guy about my age leaving and calls back to the front desk...

"I'll see you tomorrow at 8:00 AM to cut me open!"

Looks right at me.  Smiles.

Adds, "This is horrible!"

Wheat Ridge, CO sunset 4

Pud it there

<image sent by b1-66er @ 15:15.  Much conversation before this point in the conversation.>

<18:00> b1-66er: There's a kid on student J! Who's an absolute monster.

Special K: He'll be my boss soon.

b1: Not the first time you had a ding dong.

Shepards' (other) pie

b1-66er: <pic>

b1-67er: Ewe.

Ghost of red chili

Special K: Do you know this place? 14th & Wadsworth. 

b1-66er: Yes.  Very close to where my Jr. High was.

K: We're eating dinner. I expect a shooting. 

b1: Maybe.

Doesn't detract from the food.

K: Good deal. 

Should I mention you?

b1: Yes.  

Say '"Big Red" sent me.'

K: He just laughed. It was creepy. 

It's possible we're the only Jews in here. 

b1 <15 minutes later>: They already told me.

You are.

Iran, so far away

D4rw1n: Views from my office window today

I estimate about 1200 protesters marching down Pennsylvania Avenue to the White House. Super well organized. Somebody spent tens of thousands of dollars on flags and uniforms. There are multiple speaker trucks with high-quality loudspeakers broadcasting very clear talking points on regime change in Iran. The chant of the crowd is "what do we want? Regime change in Iran. When do we want it? Now"

b1-66er: Whoa.
Great TXT thread.  I love important at-the-moment updates from you and your city.

D: Thought you'd like it. This would be unremarkable but for the high level of organization. Marchers coming down this street (2000 block of Pennsylvania NW) are a once-a-week phenomenon. But 99% of them are ragtag groups.
These guys have been planning for weeks.

Time's running out!

b1-66er: "The Apple Watch Can Now Track Your Period"

Special K: 4 years later. 

b1: Don't let menopause ruin your joy.

Do you wanna touch me in my rhythm nation?

b1-66er: Janet Jackson looks suspiciously like Gary Glitter.

b1-67er: There's a little Tron meets bride of Frankenstein thing going on there.

66: Yeah there is.

And what's that pubic region all about?

67: It looks like she's ready for an "Escapade"

The city needs to get off his lawn

b1-66er:

 https://www.cntraveler.com/galleries/2016-03-04/the-best-places-to-live-in-the-us

Sarcasmo: 

I saw that. Fake news. I don't care much for Austin. "Weird" not appealing to me, especially self-consciously weird. A glut of cookie-cutter indie bands in crappy bar. venues, too much alcohol, awful traffic, high housing and food prices, not walkable and barely bike-able. Full of hipsters trying too hard. Extreme weather, lots of bugs. Can't wait to leave.

You're not here

Zed:

I'm certain we need a smaller saw

Fembot: So I am sitting in the waiting room of the dermatologist office right now, where Fem2 is getting her lower eyelid skin cancer removed.  

There is a video

playing in the waiting room that shows all the procedures they do, including microdermabrasion.  There is elevator music overhead.  Pretty soon I notice the sound of a chainsaw, and they are showing a skin scraping procedure on the video.  

I am thinking "that is a pretty bad marketing to have sound on, on the procedure." Then I realize the guy across from me is watching a home improvement video on his phone, with the sound up.  

So it really WAS a chainsaw.

Maybe mezzo cocker?

b1-66er: Batman is 80 today.

Special K: Alta cocker.

b1: YOU CAN'T CALL ME THAT!

K: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

b1-66er: So of all the jobs you've ever had...what's been your favorite?..AND, what do you think looks best on your resumé?

The Actore: The one that I seem to be most known for is the "Friends" episode by far.

b1: Is it because of the popularity of the series?

A: Yes. That's exactly it, it's the most seen piece of work I've ever done.

I loved the Alias episode, As it had a lot of fun challenges including Russian language and being very subtly controlling While seeming to be a suburban house husband on the other hand.

But I also really liked the video game I did where I played a colonel who is seen as the bad guy but the writers really did a good job of rationalizing why He was the way I was.

I don't know if I have an absolute favorite, but those are a couple of the top ones.

Threatening Bill Collector 1.0

Special K: Apple announced a credit card today, with no printed numbers and no late fees. I wonder what happens if you just never pay your bill. Or you wait a year.

Quote of the moment

"Many of us have an unconscious belief that our self-worth is based on how much we do rather than who we are intrinsically."

--Vanessa Loder

I know what you are, but what am I?

b1-67er: Vision is so weird.  You think you see what you see.  But actually you see only most of what you see.