b1-66er: gimme an email address. I've been mulling over a couple ideas and would like to send them to you.
saucy: Email: raramanujan@something.edu
b1: why do half the Indians I know have names that are suspiciously close to RamaLamaDingDong?
S: That song inspired a lot of us.
b1-66er: they just played the "finger fucking" version of blondie's "rapture" in IHOP.
solid goldstein: IHOP is pro finger fucking
from d4rw1n --
Global politics made simple, thanks to DC Embassy Row public art:
England beats Denmark
Denmark beats South Africa
South Africa beats England.
d4rw1n: Pope Francis appears to be stalking me. I'm trying to avoid him, but I've actually been nearly run over by his motorcade of Fiats twice today.
b1-66er: the salad bar at the CO casino I'm at has "anti-pasta" salad.
(it must work. there's no pasta salad there.)
suttonhoo: appetizer as incantation
by b1-66er ...
I get in mom's car. radio's on.
me: "this is bon jovi?"
mom: "oh I like him! I like him as a man too! he's very intelligent."
b1-66er: stupidest headline of the day (courtesy of qz.com): Without China, Apple's iPhone pre-orders were probably a big disappointment
special K: It is a bad headline. They're trying to make a valid point, which is last year's preorders didn't include China, so comparisons are unequal. But they hould have said that.
b1: it's jingoist.
it also doesn't matter.
here's news: we DO live in a world with China, they ARE part of the total US (and W) accounting scheme.
K: Disagree, disagree, agree.
Companies need to customize their products and practices to sell in China.
b1: it doesn't matter.
if tomorrow, AAPL could sell to EVERY Chinese person, and sell to NO ONE else, they'd do it in a heartbeat.
K: How is it jingoism? Apple's not patriotic.
Sure.
b1: "without Israel, there'd be less turmoil in the middle east"
"without bacon, there'd be less breakfast meat sold"
"without cheerios, whole grain breakfast cereal sales would be dropping"
"without Soyuz, space station support would go to zero"
"without oxygen, air pollution would be at the deadliest levels ever recorded"
K: t's just math, to make a point. It's like "The Giants hit the same number of homeruns this year as last. They have a new player named Duffy this year who it 20. Therefore the other players hit fewer than they did last year."
It's a stupid modern Internet clickbait headline.
b1: no.
"it's just dumb." just use your words to just convey your intent so I can just understand what you mean.
K: I wish they still did that. Now they want to make you click.
I love this account: https://twitter.com/savedyouaclick
b1-66er: "Both oatmeal and Cheerios are whole grains, which puts them ahead of cereals like Corn Flakes and Special K."
special K: I'm used to that.
"Just like you don't need to be a Catholic to get excited about a new Pope, you don't need to be an Apple fanatic to have a mild curiosity in the latest products from one of the largest tech companies on the planet."
-- digg
b1-66er: G actually changed their logo AND MY MICROPHONE DESIGN on my cell phone.
thanks, matias.
special KJ: Your microphone design?
b1: on the G bar on my "homescreen" ( which swype wants to call "Jonestown").
KJ: Well, it's their microphone.
b1: let's be very clear.
1. it's not theirs, it's mine. I "buy" it.
2. I didn't ask for it.
3. it hasn't changed it's behavior in any way.
it also detracts from the user experience. I pay attention to it.
and ... why, exactly, should I?
KJ: You don't own the software, and you don't have to use it. Why should you pay attention to it? You don't have to.
b1: because it's immediately in front of my face.
the power company doesn't come in and pull their cables up through my floor and color them.
you get to make a decision. do you want to be called special KJ for the rest of your life?
you can be. all you have to say is, "yes."
KJ: I don't own what you call me. Just like you don't own that goddamn Chilean Playskool microphone.
b1: you saved yourself.
beginning today you return to being called "special K."
congratulations.
and thanks.
special K: de nada.
b1: it was a risky, but fervent, play.
K: Something I'm not noted for.
b1-66er: perhaps the best news story I've ever read. I want to father all her children.
http://time.com/4022451/barbie-jeep-dwi/
pickles: That's fucking hilarious!
Minus the dwi part
b1: isn't it just the best.
p: Yes.
I love her quote about the fifteen minutes of fame.
b1: and the DWI part is EXACTLY the right play. they can pull your license for refusing a breathalyzer, but they canNOT get you for DWI (no evidence)...
so she has no alcohol-driving record.
p: Makes sense. Both results suck ass.
b1: learned that one from dad's drunk driving attorney.
p: Makes sense. It's a smart move.
Good info to have.
b1: Basically, it was the best decision I've made in college, yet...
5*s to the writer of that article. PERFECT crescendo. I can only WISH to write that well.
I'm writing her a fan letter.
p: The writer or the fortunate blonde?
b1: the fortunate blonde.
I'll write the author too.
p: You should send the girl a Barbie sized cup and tell her to only drink that much next time.
b1: THAT'S funny.
better still, send her a dozen.
solid goldstein: Dreamt I won a bunch of money on a gaming machine called Pay The Man. Basically you would put a bill in and it would either swallow it or swallow it and then push out a wad of bills.
d4rw1n: Great sushi joint in DC near my office. So good I might consider trying their poison blowfish but . . .
LOOK WHERE THEY POST THEIR GODDAMN NOTICE OF THE POISON BLOWFISH SPECIAL. Men's room wall. I'm officially put off. They've been doing this for years. I really don't understand the thinking behind this.
b1-66er: that's just funny.
and your outrage is even funnier.
the "point" must be solving:
"hmm. I just dumped a massive log. I can feel a vacancy in my colon. what can I pass through now that would be interesting?"
d4: Yeah. Eww.
I realize I never told you about Korea. My first observation was that they did not really want to talk about Pyongyang or Kim Jong Un. I asked several people and I began to get the feeling it was kind of like asking a New Yorker if they thought there would be another twin towers attack.
My second observation was K pop music has become really good.
I went to a hologram concert of Psy (ridiculous and fun), 2NE1 (poppy and fun), Big Bang (channeling Boyz to Men perfectly) and G Dragon feat. T.O.P. (A sub-unit of Big Bang) (best of them all. Check out their very legit song Zutter on YouTube. Zutter is pronounced roughly like cheddah. I'm told Zutter translates roughly to "dope," as in "that joint Zutter is pretty dope.").
b1: G DRAGON!
d4: Also goes by GD. Also in Zutter says something like (going by translations on the internet here) "call me G-O-D."
b1: uh. https://youtu.be/D8t8A8E_Tqc
Watch "BABYMETAL - ギミチョコ！!
https://youtu.be/WIKqgE4BwAY
in math terms: babymetal >> G Dragon
d4: Familiar with Babymetal and like them. But for me not better, just different. It's like comparing apples and Agent Orange.
b1: absolutely, precisely, right.
I prefer apples.
d4: Depends on the application.
b1: NO!
you were SO on the bus. you were driving, in fact. and you fell asleep at the wheel ...
if some random stranger came up on the street and said, "apples our agent orange?"
I'd say, "apples."
ALWAYS.
d4: Sure, but what if they said, who's your favorite Billy Ray Valentine character?
b1: I'm super clever in situations like this ...
"I say, I'm sorry I don't know who Billy Ray Valentine is. hey, you don't happen to have an apple, do you?"
d4: Very clever. But my answer is, nope, but Billy Ray is Eddie Murphy's grifter character in Trading Places. My favorite con is when we first meet him and he's rolling around the streets of Manhattan Ona a homemade cart pretending to be a double-amputee Vietnam vet, code name Agent Orange.
b1: I'm not THAT clever. then again, I've never kept anyone out of jail because they've purposefully ignored America's international trade laws.
we all have a role we've defined for ourselves. that's yours.
mine's watching apples on reels.
b1-66er: she always knows her place,
she's got style she's got grace,
she's a winner.
pickles: SHE'S miss United fucking states
pickles: I also paint most of my chair paintings "backwards". I do the floor first and then paint the walls.
The perspective is all kinds of not real.
b1-66er: they have a new "waiter" at red robin that's actually a ziosk attendant. it has a camera built in.
I point at the screen: "where does that image go?"
waitress: "I DON'T KNOW!"
b1-67er: put mustard on the lens.
good shakes, bad surveillance. tough decision.
the 'grid: Ratchet is in my auto-correct library. Great, that means black lives really do matter.
dre: "Twenty-five years ago I was a young man drinking too much and in over my head with no real structure in my life. However, none of this is an excuse for what I did. I've been married for 19 years and every day I'm working to be a better man for my family, seeking guidance along the way. I'm doing everything I can so I never resemble that man again."
the 'grid: "I am a reformed ass who wants you to see my movie so that I can pay restitution to the many people who plan to sue me in the near future."
b1-66er: but i still want you to go to my movie and think it's important.
AAPL: "Dre has apologized for the mistakes he's made in the past and he's said that he's not the same person that he was 25 years ago. We believe his sincerity and after working with him for a year and a half, we have every reason to believe that he has changed."
b1-66er: we've worked enough with dre to know he respects women. we're experts in this field because we have the highest market capitalization of any company in the world.
b1-66er: there was a woman at mandalay beach (michael franti concert) with the highest cut bikini I've ever seen.
cheeky.
pickles: It's a style these days.
b: the suit was also cut extremely wide and high. it wasn't a bikini ...
I guess it was a whacky 1 piece ...
like if you tried to wrap yourself up with a single piece of long aluminum foil, Tarzan style, starting at your groin.
she was continuously adjusting the sides to avoid nipple-age.
but that wasn't focus of my attention.
it had some sort of magical age defining power. if you were a guy over 40, you couldn't take your eyes off it...
if you were younger, you didn't see it...
women either completely ignored it or just rolled their eyes with an "oh come on!" kind of look.
she had a nice body for it. a great ass. but I guess you'd have to to even THINK about wearing it.
I ideally for a suit like that, I think you'd want to be a little more chesty? it'd stay put better, I think.
she was pretty young. 17 maybe? she wasn't drinking. neither was her normal-suited gal pal.
her boyfriend and/or brother was a jethro type. some goofy tattoo between his shoulder blades. long swim suit.
he was oblivious because he was on the wrong side of the age spectrum.
if you thought about that experience en toto (100 degree heat at night, flames surrounding an artificial wave pool, her outfit, MF playing "feel good" songs) as a kid ...
you wouldn't think the future would be like that ...
... but hell might be.
p: Hahaha
"Bathing suit?" An essay by b1-66er on the culture of poolside Vegas.
b1-67er: there's a very thin line between suggestion and reality when it comes to invisible food.
b1-66er: how was cave of the winds?
b1-67er: cotw was pretty good, it's a pretty good sized complex. Caves are a little beat up due to being used for tourism for 120 years, but still interesting.
66: did you hear wind? did you break wind?
67: I would say cave of the winds is not the best name. cave of the extremely faint breeze is more like it.
<ed: I assume that means he broke wind.>
special KJ: Sometimes I read KTXT and skip the posts I'm not in.
b1-67er: you are an 18 year old girl working at Einstein Brothers bagels. your job is cut the bagel in half, and run through toaster oven.
b1-66er: I am awesome.
67: are you awesome in any particular way? or just all around?
66: I am an 18 year old girl working at Einstein Brothers bagels. my job is to cut the bagel in half, and run it through a toaster oven. I am awesome.
I an a budding topologist. I know a genus 1 torus when I see one.
67: Did you look at that bagel? half of it was almost an ice cream cone.
66: I am awesome.
67: You are an 18 year old girl who didn't get your GED because you couldn't figure out how to run a number 2 pencil.
mom: I finally got that $1000 I was expecting from my folks' insurance policy.
b1-66er: you should put it in a central city bank account.
mom: I think I'll buy a sprinkler system with it, then I can run through the sprinklers in my nightgown. what do you think about that?
b1: I think you'll do that exactly once.
mom: oh. well how 'bout if I run through them naked?
special KJ: Here's a little note guaranteed to bring you right down.
Happy 70th birthday, Debbie Harry.
b1-66er: just how strange is this:
"I was socially conditioned to not own that, and to be limited to whatever biological identity was thrust upon me and narrated to me."
is she saying, "god can't tell me what I am?"
the 'grid: Damn, she is one with the highest of power if God can't tell her what she is.
I do not need for God or anyone to tell me what or who I am but I want power like hers. She is invincible.
b1-66er: if the 20th century holocaust had not have happened, would 21st century Jews still be as fervent?
special K: I don't think so. In fact I think Judaism might have died out by assimilation.
b1: I'll bet you're right.
it's sardonic to think that, for the future, it's the best thing that ever happened to the religion.
if Hitler could see the result, today, I'll bet he'd re-think his original plans. he was a lot of things, but he wasn't dumb ... and he certainly had a "point."
it's weird to think that he's, pretty easily, the most influential person in the 21st century.
K: agree, agree, agree
An incredible example of unintended consequences, zen, and jiujitsu.
b1: mostly jujitsu.
b1-66er: just made a hard psychological decision. I had "cold hard cash" tix for tomorrow night, GOOD Johnny Cash tribute at the house of blues ...
and I'm trading them off for preservation hall jazz band at Brooklyn bowl...
THESE are the deep and difficult quandaries my life entails.
the instigator: How do you sleep at night?
b1: soundly.
and I dream of beautiful women having close conversations with each other in my lap. at least that's what it was this morning.
b1-67er: <pic attached>
latest bonsai project. was over 10 feet tall.
b1-66er: I don't know how to break this to you ... horticulture is not mechanical engineering.
b1-66er: good article. I'm dreading HC as our next prez ... which I'm fairly certain is going to happen.
entropy dave: I'm not happy about it either. I think she is fundamentally not oriented toward honesty; and she doesn't stand for anything but herself.
b1-66er: I get on the terminal shuttle at DIA, and what's the VERY FIRST THING I hear over the PA? fredrico pena welcoming me to Denver ... ¡ño!
my old roommate Tom's glad he's dead.
b1-67er: really? Fedrico Pena?
6: seriously. and the announcement was truly putrid .... hello, this is fredrico pena (saying only the christian name in that super-cool spanish accented way, but the rest with heavy american accent), I was the mayor of Denver and it was my idea to build this awesome airport 40 years ago. I'm awesome. the airport's awesome. I won't mention that it was done without voter approval, and the baggage system is in rusting mothballs beneath your feet.
WELCOME TO DENVER!
oh, and did i mention I'm awesome?
7: what is, after all, a two billion $ overrun in the scope of a $2 billion dollar project? apparently credentials to be secretary of transportation.
6: and it so much more awesome-r than that crappy stapleton blocking traffic in the middle of the city. what? are we gonna use the border territory of the Rocky mountain arsenal for SOMETHING ELSE? (and they have awesome trout out here, by the way. we use a modern ecological approach with them: bathe in toxin, no catch, never worry about release.)
b1-66er: TSA @LAS. two black guys, blinged out ... but in T-shirts. carrying SIGNIFICANT amounts of cash. that's at least $50K in bricks.
the techno mercenary: Rad. I often travel with a $10k bundle of freshly printed $100 bills, just in case shit goes sideways. I also travel with a battle rifle, a half dozen loaded 30 round mags and a couple of pistols and their magazines. But I never do any of that while black! I wonder what those guys deal is? Did they get bu sted? Because unless they are traveling internationally there is zero reason for them to even be compelled to disclose unless it's $10K or greater.
b1: pure guess, but the fight wad last weekend. probably fight/gambling related. they clearly thought it was funny to have the bricks out.
I think, but don't know, that they passed bags through the belt and had to pull the bundles out.
they didn't seem bad ass -more like characters in a B rap video- but they certainly seemed "bad enough." they weren't 'concerned' that they had to flash it.
TM: Oh yeah I totally spaced out the big fight was last weekend... Duh! Yeah they were high rollin
The Actore: Bad news by the way, my freeloader...er, sorry, daughter has "very important, mandatory" rehearsals for her chamber orchestra the entire friggin' weekend of Aspiration Day. I'm so bummed! I thought for sure we'd be able to come but now the only way it would work is if I left a 12 year-old girl by herself for a weekend, with my credit card so she could uber herself to rehearsals unsupervised as she shares a ride with drivers known to be subjected to only the most rigorous,...sorry, lackadaisical of background checks....and I'm half thinking of doing it!
b1-66er: that's certainly what I'd do. it's how I got to where I am today!
TA: Hahaha!!
b1: just like everything in life, it's nothing that can't be solved with a reduced credit line and a taser.
{YOU can watch The Actore right now! go here http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0685308/?mode=desktop&ref_=m_ft_dsk make sure you "view IMDB full site." scroll down to "related videos." that's The Actore's demo reel! press play. laugh like a hyena. that's what I do.}
special K: Blade Runner replicants are due <1 year from now.
b1-66er: thank god.
K: http://www.google.com/nexus/6/
Reality is always so disappointing.
"You Nexus 6! I design your eyes!"
b: come now, K. you don't mean that. remember Apollo XI.
K: You're right. It was a flip statement and it's not true. I take it back.
b: okay. I just can't have you openly trashing on the past of all humanity. especially when the average person hasn't seen the cool stuff.
K: Thanks for reeling me in.
b: you play better as a stupid optimist, a blind follower or a bad influence. but not as a snipe.
K: so true.
special K: when I was 9 and the moon landing happened, I assumed it would become the 51st state.
CB: Have to write my performance goals for the year. They need to match the corporate "goal tree". It's an exercise that I truly can't do. It's the part of big company stuff that I find so annoying. Small price to pay, but I'll be happy when its done.
b1-66er: you are the sap of the corporate goal tree.
special K: Porn always leads the frontiers of tech.
But I'm too old and tired for this, and jacking off is too easy.
b1-66er: you need to be harder to get.
K: I gotta be me.
b1-66er: I think you're more energetic and enthusiastic in print than you are in person.
b1-66er: only the brave, the criminally insane and the truly vacant can race NASCAR.
b1-66er: name these three celebrities
special K: Ron Jeremy, Tony Fadell, Groucho Marx
b1: that's funny.
only Tony Fadell is correct.
K: HAHAHAHAHA I knew it
(I Googled the real answer to your photo quiz, after I made my guess.)
Alice Cooper was my second guess behind Ron Jeremy.
b1: man he is WHACKED in that photo.
K: Yes.
There's more here: http://capitalpictures.photoshelter.com/gallery/JF-001/G0000jczEbrqS2F8
b1: that site calls him, "Johnny glitter."
(they also call the brothers Edgar and Johnny winterS.)
K: Wow, Gary Glitter and Tony Fadell look a lot alike.
b1: GG is gonna get life in prison for pedophilia.
just convicted.
COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
K: Rock & Roll parts 3 through infinity.
special K: I was at a meeting today attended by someone named Lei Lei and someone else named Wei Wei.
b1-66er: did you get laid ... or no way?
b1-67er (sic): I was just watching the Grammys. They had Usher sing a lame Stevie Wonder song. In the last minute they did a reveal and showed that Stevie Wonder was there, and had him play harmonica for the last minute. It was a cruel musical joke ...
It was like having the backstreet boys play obscured by clouds, then revealing that david Gilmour and Roger waters are playing tamboreen.
special K: Momma Khad a crazy parathyroid removed. It was 8x normal size.
b1-66er: whoa, jesus. what does THAT mean?
K: It happens. Who knows why? It messes up your calcium which is how they knew.
Now her calcium is normal.
b1: good. can you sell it? 8x normal seems like it would be worth a lot.
K: KFC could put it between fried chicken and serve it.
b1: GREAT IDEA. the "double calic-taco."
K: Nice.
Paradown taco
b1: you win.
b1-66er: how's momma K? I know her health's been off.
special K: She's having surgery, probably week after next.
b1: oh, bad one, what for? and is it related to that high Ca reading?
K: Yes - parathyroidectomy.
b1: goddammit. what are the side-effects of having THAT done?
they treat her body like an experimental Puerto Rican phone.
K: HAHAHAHA
It's generally well-tolerated and not a major procedure. I hope that's true in her case.
b1: my mom has always said, "'minor surgery' is 'minor' until they do it on YOU."
K: BOOM!
She's shed a bunch of organs. She's built for speed now.
b1: she's not built for "organ donor."
K: Not any more.
b1: when they take some random piece out of her do you ever think, "that's sexy" and ask to take it home so you can have your way with it later?
K: every time except the gall bladder, for obvious reasons.
b1-66er: do you think it's more dangerous for your personal safety to be a jew or a muslim?
is it more dangerous in the 1st world to be a jew or a muslim?
special K: Muslim definitely.
b1: it's funny, isn't it? because we think of "them" as being the threat, but actually they're seriously under siege.
K: Yeah. It's a tiny number of them who are the threat. But they're a convenient boogeyman for people who profit on fear.
every time I stayed up on the people involved with you have to understand that the internet is particularly bad.
(our 1st TXT conversation of 2015)
special K: <image attached>
b1-66er: this is why I don't talk to you.
K: How can I blame you?
