don't be an S

special K: The Shoop Shoop Song.

b1: the shoop shoop song sucks sucks.

hey, what's that star on the wall for?

b1-66er: Gael García Bernal has described himself as "culturally Catholic but spiritually Agnostic."
now THAT is a great description.  you need to develop a similar tagline for yourself.

special K: In 4th grade I told my Hebrew school teacher I was culturally Jewish but I didn't believe in the rituals. He wanted to kill me.

b1: good for BOTH you.

gimme 50 cents, kitty! gimme 50 cents!

b1-66er:http://www.ibtimes.com/what-hello-kitty-if-not-cat-twitter-reacts-japanese-character-being-girl-1671818

hello kitty owes you nothing.

how much IS that tombstone?

special K: I thought of an epitaph for you. "He sought value."

you're not going to like what enthalpy's called

zz: Entropy's a bitch!

you should see her rave

you gotta love my mom ... it's 22:45 and she: 1. asks me if i'm staying in for the rest of the night & 2. apologizes for going to bed so early.

canned humor

b1-66er: 

special K: What are the odds?

b1: THEY MADE 'EM, CUSTOM!
the machine was at IA S U.
you have to look close, but the names are actually printed labels that the machine applies to the can.

K: Oh! I haven't seen that.
Does it have an obscenity filter?

b1: of course.

K: Fuck.

b1: that's why.

... but those people DO look good

b1-66er: irony and sarcasm are tools of the uninspired and weak.

... and now a word from medicine ...

the great and mighty richardo: unfortunately there is always a long answer in medicine but usually not as informative as the short answer.

painless, jeweless

solid goldstein on vasectomies: Surprisingly unpainful operation. Considering they stick 2 needles in your scrotum...