‘Dystextia': Gibberish texts sound stroke alarm | Yahoo! Health

http://health.yahoo.net/news/s/nm/dystextia-gibberish-texts-sound-stroke-alarm

a real stand up guy

b1: I guess I confuse you with your penis.

K: That's not uncommon.

you've gotta have heart to put some teeth in it

b1: which would you rather have, a fake heart attack or real braces?

K: fha (I've had both)

but what if monkeys had wings?

special K: " If you died I would still txt you."

good work if you can get it

special K: I'm having sex at work.

fear and trembling

b1: have you EVER made a big writing deadline that wasn't 24ho?

K: Sure. Pretty much every book.

b1: why do you decide, "oh, I'll just lie to b1 NOW," sometimes?

K: Fear and pride.
24ho is not a deadline. It's an imperative. It's right there and you do it.
What is the lie?  What federation?

b1: lie: "i don't miss deadlines, blah blah."
united federation of planets, you fucking romulan.

K: Are you sure you're conscious?

b1: are you SURE you're not gordo the whale?

K: Not sure.

from the mouth of pre-teens

CB: Quote from a neighbor's 9 year old: "teenagers have a weird way of thinking...I mean it's like when you're a kid, you're normal. Then when you're a teenager, your brain gets all twisted. Then when you're a grown up, it untwists again. Unless you're a nerd, then your brain is twisted from birth."

that's not a cold sore

b1: friendship with you is a form of mental herpes.

I think you're out of my head for good, then you suddenly reappear.  usually at the most socially awkward moment.

crabby red states

solid G: I'm pro lobster.  And I vote!