no flat bun, son

K: Sharks win only 2-1. No free pizza. *** b1: in my book, that's a draw.

not like it's complicated for YOU

special K: Every day takes figuring out all over again how to fucking live.

without fireworks, it's nothing

K: Intermission: synchronized skating *** b1: weak. where's mini kiss? the last time i saw the wranglers they had blue man group at the breaks.

the color of a model T

b1: the las vegas wranglers are asking all their fans to wear black for
the midght game.

K: Will they comply?

b1: i don't know, but i will. i'll wear black everything, including
sox, my (all-black) converse and underwear.

just kiss it, it's small

K: When is your midnight hockey game?

***

b1: the las wranglers are playing 23:59 on monday the 27th. you should
go.

***

K: I'd love to go. I'm way busy.

Our neighbor at the Sharks game I'm at just asked me when I'm doing
another 24-hour thing with my "buddies".

***

b1: i love that.

***

K: I'll be incommunicado shortly (too many people at the arena).

***

b1: why?

***

K: Too many people sharing the signal. Service suffers.

2 anthems

***

b1: dumb. we live in 1 country.

mini kiss are playing the period breaks at the wranglers.

***

K: I live on another planet. Kids who dress like Kiss?

***

b1: midgets.

***

K: Add a Teddy bear toss and strippers and it's the event of the
century.

***

b1: i love you, man.

two turntables and a hockey stick

K: Sharks take the ice to "Living in a Dream" by Finger Eleven. *** b1: it should be beck, "loser." *** K: No.

the love of decomposing

K: I'm at sj arena. They're playing My Favorite Things by TSO. I'd rather be fucking Mozart. And he's been dead for 200 years.

homo say what?

this is a conversation with my brother, b1-67er. consider it to be a
holiday bonus for you, my dear reader.

b1-66er: I SWEAR THIS IS TRUE: mom is speaking french to the
dishwasher.

b1-67er: Does it answer her?

66: mom (disturbingly speaking of herself in the third person), "no,
it's not doing anything for her."

67: Maybe it doesn't understand French.

... now cough

K: Ok. Off to annual dr checkup. Good luck to me there.

<30 minute delay>

Dr. says everything looks good.

Cholesterol: 157
Triglyceride: 114

***

b1: go special. go K. go go, special K.

did you tell him/her, "this surprises me none. in fact, my friends
consider me to be the pinnacle of health, so much so that they call me
'special K?'"

***

K: I said exactly that.

There's something weird about the pharmacy model. A store selling makeup
next to lifesaving drugs. This will change.

***

b1: how about the place i worked? booze and porno next to the pills.

***

K: Wrong, wrong.

***

b1: you could place a sports bet there too. did i ever tell you about
the time there was a break-in?

***

K: I think you did. Of course I remember little.

***

b1: there's been a robbery. they run sports books there. the cops show
up. i hold 'em off. my boss gets there. takes a l-o-n-g slow look
around. shakes his head and turns to the cops ... "no, it's all here.
there's no need to file a report."

only if they don't pay

b1: jobs are such an incredible insult to human dignity.

they will, however, GLADLY whack your pack

b1: CO sonic's do *not* have wacky pack wednesdays. *** K: My native state disappoints again.